The Way I Loved You
by Fall Down Again Bella
Summary: Edward is a sexy badass and dating Bella. They have a passionate relationship, but fight all the time. What happens when Bella ends the relationship for good? Based of Taylor Swift's "The Way I Loved You". AH/AU Co-written with xoxo41.
1. Fearless

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

"Bella. Stay still, would you?"

I snorted. How could I possibly stay still when Alice was applying eyeliner on me? She already had me dressed in tan boots with designer jeans tucked into them, and she had me wearing a light blue spaghetti-strap shirt that swooped down _way _below my comfort level, and placed a dark blue cover-up over it. My hair was perfectly straightened, and freshly cut, thanks to Alice, and she was now attempting to pull what were now my side-bangs, back with bobby pins. I didn't even recognize myself in the mirror, which was either good or bad, depending on how you looked at it.

"Alice," I whined, "_please._"

"Shush, Bella. You have to look absolutely _perfect,__" Alice said distractedly. _She was focusing on a strand of hair that was not cooperating with what she wanted. I patiently waited while she took the all of the bobby pins out and started all over again.

"Is your brother planning on making an appearance anytime soon?" I grumbled. He was already nearly twenty minutes late.

"Oh Bella you know how he is. He's never on time."

She whispered _perfect _to herself when she got my hair the way she wanted it, and I closed my eyes as she locked in it with hairspray.

"Well, I've done all I can here. You're on your own now."

She gave me a kiss on the cheek, and rounded down the stairs before I could even thank her.

I walked over to my window, and looked down the street. No headlights. Nothing in my driveway except Alice's car. I cupped my chin into my palm, and rested my arm on the windowsill. I watched as Alice got into her yellow Porsche and speed away, her tires squealing on the pavement as she drove away. After she left, everything was perfectly still.

And then two impatient honks sounded from outside and I rolled my eyes. He wanted me to hurry up? It's his own damn fault we're going to be late for whatever his plans were in the first place. I grabbed my raincoat, pulling it on over my blue tank top. I ran down the stairs as fast as I could without tripping.

"Bye Dad!" I called as I opened the door.

"Be home by eleven thirty!" Dad answered. I shut the door behind me and hurried down the walk and into the warm looking Volvo parked outside. I shook my hair out once I entered the car, reveling in the feeling of the warm air vents as they hit my skin.

"Finally Edward," I murmured when I got in the car, leaning over to kiss his cheek. He made a face, already pulling the car away from the curb and speeding down the street.

"I'm really sorry Bella. But Emmett took my car to the store for 'just one thing' and ended up taking thirty minutes longer then he was supposed to," Edward apologized instantly, annoyance clear in his voice at the thought of his year younger sister.

"You couldn't have called?" I asked, but I wasn't really angry. I was annoyed sure, but I loved Edward too much to really care.

"Sorry, I didn't think of it. Next time I will, promise." I just rolled my eyes but kept my mouth shut. It didn't really bother me, I was just grateful to spend as much time with him as possible.

"Okay. I forgive you," I said, sighing jokingly as if it was some great act of kindness. He smiled, showing me he knew I was kidding and reached over to take my hand in his. He entwined our fingers and held them on his lap, absentmindedly playing with my fingers as he drove. He had my favorite CD on already—he knew me well.

"So…where are we going, exactly?"

He chuckled. "It's our six-month anniversary, Bella. I have a right to keep it a secret."

I was about to argue, but thought better of it. If he wanted to keep it a secret, he could; I would know when we got there.

Our drive was quiet, only talking when we wanted to. Neither of us really felt the need to fill silences with mindless chatter—we were comfortable with each other. He's the only boy I let see me when I'm in my pajamas and eating my comfort foods. I watched his face intently as we drove, taking in the breathtaking view. He ran his fingers through his hair absentmindedly—it made me want him even more.

The car slowed and pulled into a parking lot. I looked around me, and felt a lump in my throat. I could see why he wanted to keep this a secret. It was classic Edward. Simply romantic. It was where we had our first date—La Bella Italia. He was wearing the exact same outfit, too. The jacket, the turtleneck, the jeans. Edward came over to my side of the car and opened the door for me. I climbed out and threw my arms around his neck, pressing my lips over his. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and bent back a bit, but enough to remove my feet up off the ground. I moved my hands up to his tousled bronze hair, and intertwined them through it.

I heard someone clear their throat from behind us. Still kissing Edward, I opened one eye and looked beside us. An old woman was watching us, an appalled look on her face. I blushed a deep red, and hopped off Edward.

The lady shook her head and walked into her car.

"Let's go," I said to him.

He laced his fingers through mine, and we walked into the restaurant.

"We're just in time to make our reservations," Edward noted.

"Because of your crack job driving," I retorted and he chuckled. When we walked in Edward went straight up to the hostess who eyed him appreciatively. I rolled my eyes knowing he'd ham it up.

"Hello there," he said in a husky voice. The woman swooned. He bit his lip to hide back the laughter I knew was about to bubble to the surface. Edward knew how dazzling he was—and he used that to his advantage. Mostly on me.

"H-hi," the hostess stuttered.

"I have reservations for Cullen," Edward purred seductively. I rolled my eyes and squeezed his fingers a little too hard. He chuckled out loud and the hostess blushed tomato red. I bit my lip to hide my laughter.

"Right this way…sir," she breathed, her eyes wide. I shook my head and followed as Edward towed me along. She sat us at a booth in the corner. "Your waitress will be right out."

"Thank you," Edward said with a wink. I thought she was going to faint. She stumbled away, glancing over her shoulder every five seconds.

"I hate it when you do that," I scolded. "That poor girl."

"Oh come on, you love seeing me tease girls like that. And you know you're the only girl for me," he said with a cocky smile.

"Whatever," I grumbled and he laughed. Our waiter came out then and I raised my eyebrows at Edward—a clear challenge. He smirked and waved his hand in a "take it away" gesture.

"Hi, my name's Tom and I'll be your waiter tonight," the waiter said. "What can I get you to drink?" I noticed he was only talking to me, as did Edward. He kept his eyes on my face, grinning. I let a slow, seductive smile spread across my lips.

"I'll just have some water, please," I said, flashing him a smile and batting my eyelashes slightly.

"S-sure." He stumbled over his words a bit and I grinned in triumph. Edward scoffed. "I'll be right out with that." He turned to leave and I snorted, trying to hold back my giggles. Edward coughed.

"Oh, sorry sir," Tom said, rolling his eyes. "Do you want a drink?"

"Yeah I'll have a Coke," Edward half growled.

"Whatever. I'll be right out with your drink miss," Tom said, turning back to me.

"Thanks." I winked and he turned away, a broad grin on his face. I turned to Edward and he gave me a fake round of applause.

"That was impressive," he admitted. "But you learned from the master." He gestured to himself.

"Oh yes, wise one, you certainly know the way to a woman's heart," I said sarcastically.

"I think I've gotten to your heart plenty of times," Edward countered. I smiled slightly, blushing. It was true. I loved him more than he realized. It was the kind of heart-stopping, earth-shattering love that every girl dreamed of. True love.

"Maybe a bit," I allowed. The waiter came back then with a water in his hand a Coke in the other. He slammed the Coke down, sloshing a bit over the sides and Edward made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat, almost a growl. I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

"Have you decided what you want?" he asked me, his back completely to Edward. I looked down at the menu.

"Oh yes. But I don't think it's on the menu," I flirted, barely keeping a straight face. The waiter's eyes went wide and he chanced a glance at Edward who was glaring at him. "I think I'll just have the mushroom ravioli."

"And…and you sir?" Tom took a step back away from Edward's death stare.

"The same," he said shortly, shoving the menus at Tom.

"R-right away sir," Tom said. He gave me a longing glance and then half ran to the kitchen. Edward frowned at me,

"I think that's a pretty good pick-up line. I'll need to use that if I ever want to date a waiter," I said thoughtfully. Edward kept frowning. "Oh come on, it was funny."

"No it wasn't."

"Yes it was."

"No it wasn't."

"Yes it was."

"Yes it was."

"No it was—don't do that!" He smirked and I flushed red. That trick always worked on me and he knew it. The waiter returned with our food then and placed the plates delicately on the table, his face red, not speaking. I could tell Edward had frightened him off. Although when I reached for my napkin I noticed a phone number written on it. I burst into giggles.

"What?" Edward asked, looking at my plate to see if something funny was there. I held up the napkin.

"I win," I announced. "Because hostess girl didn't give you her number. So I'm the better looking one in this relationship." Of course I knew this wasn't true—Edward was beyond gorgeous—but it was fun to tease him.

"I think we already knew you were much better looking then I am. You're beautiful," he said casually and I blushed, pleased, taking a bite of my food.

When we finished our meal, the waiter came out with the check and glanced at the napkin—which I had used to wipe some sauce off the table—and frowned. He placed the check in the center of the table and walked away, shoulders slumped. I felt a pang of guilt—maybe I was a bit too convincing. But did he really think a girl on a date would flirt with him so obviously in front of her boyfriend?

"Oh, it's a tie Bella," Edward announced, holding up the check. Under the price was a name and number, call me written underneath in girly script. Edward smiled victoriously.

"Fine. We're equally good looking," I decided.

"Works for me." Edward placed some money on the table and took my hand again as we left the restaurant. When we were out of the booth he wrapped an arm around my shoulder and walked me to the car. And for some odd reason I just wanted to dance with him. Just up and dance in the rain in the middle of the parking lot. There was just something about him that made me want to—sing and yell and dance.

"I don't have to be home till eleven thirty," I said, glancing at the clock. It was only just about nine.

"Wanna waste gas?" he suggested.

"I'd love to," I smiled back. Edward pulled out of the parking lot and gunned it. He turned my favorite CD back on but turned it up much louder this time, rolling the windows down. I turned the heat up, a bit chilled, but loving the feeling of the wind whipping my hair around my face. Edward kept his hand in mine as we drove, never really going anywhere, just reveling in being together. Every once in a while we'd turn the music down and talk about nothing and everything. But mostly we kept the music blasted, singing along to the words we knew and making up words when we didn't. It was more fun then any fancy date could ever hope to be.

Edward started driving home at eleven fifteen and I knew I'd just make curfew with his driving. I turned the music back down, watching the stars flash by out the window. It was beautiful—each start blurring together into an endless stream of light, the only glow in a pitch dark town. Edward stopped in front of my house and it was exactly eleven twenty eight.

I turned around, and saw his digging into the pocket of his jeans. "Your surprise," he said, pulling out a little cardboard box. "I got you something for our anniversary."

_"You bought me something?" _I said, appalled for several reasons. Number one: I hated when people bought me things. Number two: I hadn't gotten him anything.

"Of course." He sounded a bit insulted that I had been so surprised. But then again, I should've known better. Edward buys presents for everything.

He handed me the box, and, as much as I wanted to argue with him, I decided to just let it go once. Plus, I was kind of curious to see what he got me. .So I lifted off the top, and brought out a silver bracelet. It was silver links with a heart charm dangling off it. On one side of the charm was a diamond, cut into a million facets. I gasped.

"Edward, I—I can't take this! This is too extravagant." I couldn't take my eyes off of the beautiful bracelet. It was much too much—but it was beautiful.

He laughed. "I can't take it back. It's yours. If you don't accept it, my feelings would be extremely hurt."

I shook my head. He knew how much I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. I used a different excuse. "I didn't get you anything, though."

Again, he laughed. "You already gave me a present." He tapped the tip of my nose with his finger. "I just need you, Bella. You're all I need. Forever."

God, he was deep.

"Thanks," I mumbled breathlessly.

"See you tonight, right?" I asked. Edward always snuck to my room at night and we slept together (like actually sleeping) and then he left before my parents would wake up. I couldn't sleep without him.

"Sure. Probably around twelve thirty once my parents are in bed," he promised.

"Okay," I sighed, knowing our night was coming to an end. Edward climbed out of the car and walked me to the doorstep. The light was on and his face was illuminated in the small light, the rain misting around his face like glittering diamonds. I felt a familiar thrill of nerves and excitement as he leaned towards me, pressing his lips gently to mine. I tossed my arms around his neck and kissed him back with fervor, sliding my tongue into his mouth. Our tongues melted together like butter and I felt him smile.

After a few minutes of this, my porch lights flickered—my parents signal that it was time to come in. I reluctantly pulled away, gasping for air and grinning, small pink spots on my cheeks from excitement.

"I love you," Edward said, pressing his lips to my forehead. "See you tonight."

"Right. I love you too." I leaned forward and touched my lips to his before walking inside a huge smile on my face.

**A/N from Fall Down Again Bella: I hope you guys like it so far, this chapter is a mixture of both of our writing. REVIEW!**


	2. Screaming and Fighting

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

I softly shut the door as I entered the house, unable to wipe the euphoric smile off of my face. I tip-toed past the TV room, trying to sneak up the stairs without Charlie noticing me. I just wanted to get up to my room, shower, and wait for Edward to show up so I could get some sleep. We had school in the morning after all.

"Bella, is that you?" Charlie called. I grimaced. So close, I thought, making my way back down the few stairs I had managed to sneak up.

"Yeah Dad, it's me," I answered. I made my way into the TV room and saw him on the couch, the game playing on the screen in front of him.

"How was your date?" he asked, somewhat awkwardly. I bit back a groan. I really didn't want to talk to Charlie right now.

"Fine," I said simply, quickly. I hoped the quicker I answered him, the quicker I could leave. "We went to dinner and then drove around for a while. It was a lot of fun." Understatement of the century right there.

"Oh. That's good." I nodded, unsure if I was allowed to go upstairs yet. "You've been dating Edward for a long time now…" Charlie noted.

"Tonight was our sixth month anniversary," I said proudly, a smile managing to spread across my face. I placed my hands in my jacket pocket, one hand closing around the small silver bracelet tucked safely away.

"Wow. A long time. And you love him?" Charlie verified. He was only making sure—it was clear by the tone of my voice that I loved Edward.

"Very much so," I agreed earnestly.

"Well…as long as you're being smart. I don't want to see my baby girl get hurt." Charlie's voice was surprisingly emotional. "And I'd shoot him if he hurt you." I giggled nervously.

"Dad, Edward will never hurt me. He loves me too much," I assured him. There was a long pause, a little awkward since I was still standing in my dressy dinner outfit.

"Good. Well…I guess you can go to bed now, if you'd like."

"Goodnight Dad," I sang, happy to get away from our awkward conversation. I made my way back upstairs, glancing at the clock. It was already almost twelve. I jumped in the shower, letting the steaming water unwind my muscles. I dried off in the bathroom and pulled on my cute Victoria's Secret pajamas that I had bought as soon as Edward started spending the nights with me. I climbed into bed and let my thoughts wander.

I could still remember the first night Edward stayed with me. We had only been dating about a month, and we were all over each other. We never wanted to be apart and we couldn't get enough of each other. He had already told me he loved me and I had said it back, and meant it too.

_{Flashback}_

_"Goodnight Bella," Edward said sadly. We had gone on another date that night, to the movies. Well, we were going to see a movie, but we missed the show and stayed in the parking lot, talking and kissing and listening to music. By the time we actually decided to go in, all of the movies were started and there were no other shows, so we went back out to his car and kissed and talked some more. It was a wonderful date, one of the best._

_"Goodnight," I answered, my voice equally sad. Edward leaned forward to give me a chaste kiss goodnight, but I pulled him closer, pressing my body against his and sliding my tongue into his mouth, never wanting the night to end. But eventually he pulled away, a blissful smile on his face._

_"I love you," he reminded me._

_"I wish you didn't have to go. I wish you could just stay with me all night long," I sighed wistfully. Of course I had thought it was an impossibility. I hadn't noticed the way Edward's eyes lit up when I said that because I was too busy staring sadly at my feet. Edward's hand went under my chin and lifted my face up so my eyes locked with his again._

_"If it was up to me, I'd never leave you," he said gently. "I love you Bella. I'll see you soon." He pressed his lips to mine, keeping his hand on my chin to hold me back._

_"I love you too," I breathed as he pulled away. "See you tomorrow." He placed a kiss on my forehead before going back out to his car. I kept my eyes glued to the back of his head until he rounded the corner and disappeared. I sighed and went inside, said a quick hello to Charlie and made my way upstairs. I took a shower, leaving my hair messy and wet. I pulled on a pair of ratty old sweatpants and a too tight, too small t-shirt. I climbed into bed, frowning, wishing I had another body to warm me and hold me. I climbed under the blankets and closed my eyes, sleep instantly washing over me._

_One moment, I was dreaming of kissing Edward under the stars in the middle of the night, and then all of the sudden there was this horrible scraping noise. Edward and I both cringed, looking around to try and find the source of the noise, but it just kept coming. I shot up in bed and saw a figure hovering above me in the darkness. I opened my mouth to let out a scream, but the person placed their hand over my mouth. I thrashed around, trying to get away from the intruder. I could feel tears stinging my eyes. I was going to get raped, or kidnapped or murdered!_

_"Bella, shh, Bella," the person said, their voice velvety smooth and familiar. "It's just me. Only me. Calm down." I bit back a sob as I realized it was Edward holding me. He released his hand from my mouth and a broken whimper escaped my lips._

_"Why the h-heck would you do that?" I sobbed. My heart was pounding from the adrenaline rush and fear. "I thought I was g-going to d-die!"_

_"I'm so sorry Bella," Edward said with panic stricken eyes. He sat on the bed next to me, pulling me against his chest and I let my irrational tears spill onto his chest. "I just wanted to surprise you. You said you never wanted us to be apart and I didn't want to leave you so I came in through the window so we could spend the night together. I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to scare you." He ran his fingers through my hair, trying to comfort me. I took a deep, shuddering breath._

_"You scared the shit out of me," I told him angrily. "Next time just tell me when you're going to sneak into my room at night." I was still breathing heavily, but my heart had stopped trying to jump out of my chest and my cheeks were starting to turn red from the embarrassment of my reaction. To my surprise, a small smile spread across Edward's lips._

_"So that means there will be a next time?" he asked hopefully. I giggled and pulled his lips to mine, tossing my arms around his neck and pulling him down onto the bed._

_"I wouldn't have it any other way," I murmured against his lips. He chuckled happily and crawled under my blankets. I snuggled against his chest and got the best night's sleep I had gotten in weeks. _

After that night, I was unable to sleep without Edward. He came back pretty much every night, always leaving before Charlie woke up. Sometimes, if he overslept, he'd just hide under the bed when Charlie peeked in my room in the morning to check on me. Those were nerve-racking. I was always afraid my breathing was too heavy, or maybe one of Edward's legs was sticking out from under the bed. But we had never been caught yet.

I glanced at the clock, surprise flitting across my face as I realized it was nearly one in the morning. Edward was late. For the second time in one night. Maybe his parents were just staying up late, I thought quickly. But he would call…he promised. I grabbed my cell phone and checked to see if I had any texts or missed calls, but I didn't. My phone flashed the time proudly as the time switched from 12:59 to 1AM.

I stood up and glanced out of the window, hoping to see headlights or a body shifting in the night. He had to be coming. He always came. Every night, like clockwork. I opened my window wide and peered down, but no one was there. The rain was falling steadily, so I quickly pulled my head back in and shut the window, leaving it unlocked. I climbed back into bed, checking the time again. Only three minutes had passed. He was only a little late, plus we usually had no set time of when he had to come. Maybe he had car troubles. Maybe his cell phone died. He could always borrow someone else's…

I glanced at the clock again—it was 1:07. Maybe he wasn't coming, I thought sadly and slightly pissed. Why would he chose tonight of all nights not to come? And why the hell wasn't he calling. The seconds ticked by, turning into minutes, passing too quickly and much too quietly. I climbed into bed at 1:20, fuming and depressed. I had to get some sleep, even if Edward wasn't here. I could sleep by myself.

Apparently not.

I tossed and turned for fifteen minutes, trying to find a comfortable position while trying to listen for any sounds from outside that would signal Edward was here. The night was quiet and my bed was lumpy and cold without Edward in it. But this is how thousands of people slept every night. How I used to sleep before Edward. I shouldn't have had any trouble falling asleep.

But I couldn't help it. I was worried that maybe something had happened to him; maybe he had crashed in the dark, slid on the slippery wet roads. Was he okay? Was he safe? My heart raced as I thought of the possibilities. He had to be fine, of course he was. He was just running late. He was fine. My palms were sweating and my hands shaking as I waited anxiously, praying he was still coming.

"Bella?" I heard a voice say from my window. I jumped—how had he managed to climb the tree outside of my window without me hearing? "Bella, are you still up?" Now that I knew he was safe, my anger returned to me tenfold. How dare he keep me worrying like that? Wondering if he was dead or alive? And not even a phone call! I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at the ceiling.

"Bella," Edward's voice said softly. I could tell he was in my room now and only a few feet away. Half of me wanted to reach out and kiss him, the other half wanted to smack him. Instead of doing either, I balled my hands into fists and continued glaring at the ceiling. "Bella, you're awake."

"Clearly," I said in an annoyed, sarcastic voice.

"And you're mad," he sighed. I practically growled and shot up, my hands slamming onto my mattress.

"Yes I'm mad!" I practically shouted. "I'm freaking pissed! I was waiting for you for over an hour! No phone call, no nothing! I thought you had gotten into a car accident or something, I was so damn worried!" Edward came over and placed his hand over my mouth, and I debated whether or not to bite him. I decided not to though.

"Shh, Bella," he said quickly, tossing a panicked look to the far wall. I listened intently and heard the small sounds of Charlie's snoring. Oops. I had forgotten about him. "Can you at least scream at me outside so we don't wake up your father and he doesn't shoot me?" He removed his hand from my mouth carefully.

"Fine," I hissed venomously. "Not that you wouldn't deserve it." I stalked over to the window and expertly jumped onto the tree, clutching onto the branches for dear life. I had used this tree often to sneak out with Edward during the night, usually on weekends. We were both excellent at climbing it now, although I was still scared to death whenever I was on it.

"Careful Bella," Edward cautioned, following my path out of the window. He climbed directly above me, his arms tensed like he was ready to reach out and grab me at any moment. I made it safely to the bottom of the tree and took about ten steps away from the house, towards the wooded area next to it. Edward followed along behind me. I placed my hands on my hips and glared at him.

"Why the hell are you so late?" I growled, enunciating each word clearly. I didn't care about the rain pouring down on me from above. I barely even felt it. I was completely focused on the asshole (beautiful, wonderful, god-like asshole) in front of me.

"I'm so, so sorry Bella," he said instantly, his voice dripping with sincerity. "My parents just wouldn't go to sleep. I had to wait in my room, pretending to be asleep until fifteen minutes ago. Then I had to get back out and drive here." He sounded truly apologetic.

"You _promised_ Edward," I reminded him. He opened his mouth to protest but I quickly cut him off. "I know you couldn't sneak out with your parents still awake, but you promised you'd call me next time you were going to be late for something." He looked confused for a moment, but then he remembered our conversation in the car and bit his lip.

"I know I did Bella and it was really stupid of me not to. I didn't want my parents to hear," he said quickly.

"You couldn't have sent me a text? I was really, really worried," I said, my voice cracking towards the end.

"I know Bella, and I'm sorry. I should've texted, but I just wasn't thinking."

"No, clearly, you weren't," I snapped back.

"Well why do I always have to do the risky things?" he retorted, his voice slightly angry. "Why don't you ever come see me?"

"Because you have a brother, a sister and two parents who could catch us. I only have Charlie," I reminded him. It's not like I hadn't thought of it before. "Plus I'd have to be home even earlier in the morning because Charlie comes in to check on me."

"So what? I'm sick of making all the effort here. And then I slip up once and you're pissed!" he snapped. My face flushed red with anger.

"You're making all the effort? Really?" I yelled back at him. "I have to do everything for us! The only thing you do is forget to call and come late! I make so much damn effort to keep us together because I love you and you clearly don't love m—" Edward's hands found my face and his lips were pressed against mine roughly. For a moment, all arguments were forgotten as he kissed me. My fingers laced in his hair and my breathing got heavy.

"Don't ever say that," Edward growled, pulling away, keeping my face in his hands, holding my gaze in his. "Of course I love you Bella. I love you more then anything on this whole damn earth, in this whole damn world. You are my life Bella and nothing else matters." His voice was thick with ferocity and fury.

"Edward, I just…I hate how you're so irresponsible about this." I pulled away, his hands falling off of my cheeks. "You never call me and you're always late. And I'm always worried."

"Bella, I'm sorry," Edward repeated. "I know I should call and I know I'm always late. But this is my first real relationship. I'm trying so damn hard Bella, because I love you."

It was true. Before me, Edward was one of the biggest womanizers of the school. He had been with everyone from Rosalie (before she dated Emmett) to Tanya to Lauren and back again. But when I came he promised to settle down and stay with me, only me. We had been together ever since.

"I know Edward. It's just…really hard to trust you when you never do what you say you will," I sighed back. I just needed some time to think, some time to clear my head. "Why don't you just go home? It's late and we both need our sleep. I don't want to keep arguing about this and I know that's all we're going to do. Maybe a night apart will do us both some good." I kept my eyes on the ground as I spoke, not wanting to see the look on Edward's face. I knew it would either be fury or sadness and I couldn't handle either.

"Fine," Edward said weakly. "Sure. I'll go home. I guess…I'll see you tomorrow." He started to turn and walk off. I felt a longing pull; an irresistible force telling me to call him back and never let him go.

"Edward!" I yelled after a few minutes, taking a few steps towards the space where he had last been. No one answered. I heard a car engine rev and headlights ripped around the corner before disappearing. He was gone.

Tears mixed with rain as I climbed unsteadily back up the tree outside of my house and into my room. I climbed under the covers, soaking wet and shivering, and fell asleep to nightmares of loneliness and lost love.

**A/N from Fall Down Again Bella: Hey everyone! I wrote this chapter and xoxo41 will be writing the next one. Make sure you review! And I know a few people are wondering how this is going to be an Ed/Bella story, but it will be. REVIEW!!!**


	3. It's 2AM and I'm Cursing Your Name

I glanced over to my cell phone that was lying on the table next to my bed.

I was miserable. It's been four days since my fight with Edward, but he still hasn't called, texted, or tried to use any other form of communication. The silence was so loud that it was giving me a headache.

I wasn't the grudge-holding one in this relationship. I had _tried _calling Edward the night we had our fight, but he hadn't answered. I kept trying until I fell asleep, and then tried again first thing in the morning.

_Fine, _I had thought, _I'll wait for you to call me_.

But he hadn't. Not the day after that or even the day after that. Four days and I have yet to hear my phone ring.

I sighed, turning over on my bed. I looked at the time: 2:10a.m., I grabbed my pillow and placed it on top of my head. I wanted to tune out everything and everyone. The only thing I wanted to hear now was my phone ringing.

As if my wish was granted, I heard the familiar music of my cell phone. I sat up faster than I thought humanly possible, and reached over. I didn't bother to check the caller I.D.—I just hit the _talk _button and pressed the phone against my ear.

"Hello?" I answered breathlessly, smiling. I was eager to hear the familiar honey voice from the other line. Maybe he'd tell me he was sorry, or that he loved me, or maybe he would ask me to go to dinner or something with him. My smile instantly disappeared when I heard, "Bella?"

Good things had better come to those who wait.

"_Alice," _I almost yelled. "What are you doing? _Why are you calling me?_"

I could tell Alice did a double take, and I instantly felt bad. It wasn't her fault that I was expecting it to be Edward. It was Edward's.

"I'm sorry, Bella," she apologized, "But I wanted to invite you over to my house for breakfast tomorrow morning!"

I sighed and said, "Alice, you know I'm kind of in the middle of a fight with Edward right now, don't you? And besides, it's two in the _morning_. _Who invites somebody to breakfast at two in the morning?_" I asked between clenched teeth.

I heard Alice mutter something on the other line, but it was too incoherent to make sense of it. I opened my mouth to say something when she began whining. "Edward isn't _here _tonight, Bella!" She said, as if this explained the two a.m. invitation to breakfast. "He and Emmett went camping this weekend. _Please _come? Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?"

I laughed, but it felt wrong. Like it always does when Edward and I were in the middle of a fight. It was as if large gray cloud was hovering over my head, only to be chased away when Edward and I made up with a hug and a kiss.

But I wasn't going to make the first move. I was _always _the first one to give in. Maybe that was why Edward hardly ever tried to remember to call when he was late, or when he says he will. If somebody doesn't _make _you do something, you'll never learn.  
Until now. "Alice," I said sternly, "is Edward really camping or are you just saying that so I'll go over there, you'll make Edward will talk to me, and we'll make up?"  
Silence. I took that as a _yes_.

"Sorry Alice, but I'm not going to make the first move."

"Technically," she said in a tone I recognized—unfaltering determination. "I made the first move."

I rolled my eyes. "No thank you."

"But—"

I cut her off. _"Goodbye Alice."_

"Bye," she muttered. I hung up, throwing my phone on the floor.

"Damn you Edward," I whispered, cursing his name.

I stared at the ceiling for a moment, and then got out of bed. Even though I was in the middle of a fight with Edward, it was still next to impossible to sleep without him. For the past few days, I've only gotten a few hours of sleep. Sleeping without Edward felt strange; like writing with your left hand when you're used to your right.

I walked over to my window. It was cold outside; the contrast between the warmth from the inside of my house and the air outside made my window fog up. I pressed my pointer finger against the glass and drew a heart. Then I added _E+B _in the middle.

I didn't understand why I liked to torture myself. A _normal _person would try to get their mind off the person they were fighting with. I've been lying in my bed thinking about him constantly. Maybe I needed therapy.

I brushed my hand across the heart, erasing it. "This is _so _pathetic," I mumbled, heading back to my bed.

_Pling! Pling!_

I froze, my arms halfway stretched out to grab my blankets.

_Pling! Pling!_

The sound was coming from my window, and getting louder every second. "What the hell?" I whispered to myself, my voice shaking.

I slowly sat up and swung my legs over my bed. I pressed my toes against the icy floor, and stood up carefully, as if the slightest creak or bump would secure my death. I tip toed over to the window, where the sounds were coming from.

_PLING!!_

Without giving myself a second to convince myself otherwise, I leaned my head in front of the window until I could see out of it.

I couldn't see anything, and the sound had stopped. I brought myself further in front of the window, until I was standing directly in front of it. I unlocked it, and slid the window up, sticking my head out into the cool air.

My hair blew around my face in every direction. I spit it out of my mouth, and tucked it behind my ears.

The first thing I noticed was a shiny silver motorcycle parked three houses down. I knew it wasn't there five minutes ago—when I had drawn the heart in the fog—and I knew I hadn't heard a motorcycle. I narrowed my eyes, trying to see it clearer.

It was a Ducati 1198, featuring fully adjustable 43mm Showa forks, with an additional special low friction titanium oxide treatment applied to the sliders. It was a race bike, pure and simple. It was recognizable for its purposeful, no-nonsense attitude. Performance was it's first and foremost in every detail.

This I knew because he had told me a million times. Each time I would come to his house and walk through his garage, he would lift the curtain off and tell me what made the Ducati 1198 great. Every time.

I could recognize this bike from a mile away. If I could see just a bit farther, I'm sure I could spot the scratch on the mirrors that Alice had created when she accidently dropped her heavy-duty brush while trying to style her hair by means of the little mirror. Edward had gotten so mad that he probably would have killed her if I hadn't of stepped in and convinced him that it was an accident and she was sorry. It had taken a lot—Edward wasn't the easiest person to convince something to—I was one of the few lucky people in his life who he actually listened to. After noticing the bike, I looked down below me. At first, all I could see was a tall black shadow, but as I squinted my eyes, I could see who it was, though I already was looking up at me and I noticed pebbles in his hand. So that was what the _pling _noise was. He was throwing rocks at my window. Our eyes locked. Even from two stories down, I could feel his presence. It was powerful. The kind of thing that you just could feel in the bottom of your heart if you were lucky enough to find anything like it.

I tore myself away from his gaze, and ran to my closet where I grabbed my coat. I tiptoed down the hallway—waking Charlie probably wouldn't be the best idea—and when I got to the doorway, I slipped on my sneakers and ran out.

The wind was strong and the air had a cold bite to it that I hardly noticed. I was focused exclusively on Edward.

I knew I was getting my hopes up. He could be here to ask her his stuff back, or he might even want to yell at me some more. I would be all right with that, though. I've missed his voice so much—missed _him _so much. He was like my drug.

It was so dark out—the moon and the stars were hidden beneath a wide span of black clouds—that I had to focus on not tripping.

I ran into him. My head hit his chest so sudden that I jumped backward in shock. So much for trying not to trip, I thought as I flew downward.

I felt a warm hand wrap around my face and another one cradle my head in support as the sudden stop of motion snapped my body. He pulled me up and held me for a second while I regained my ever-failing balance. I looked up at him and said, "Hi."

"Hello," he said back, half-smiling.

"Um, have how you…been?" I asked lamely.

My eyes were adjusted enough to the darkness that I could make him out. His tousled bronze hair, the flawless features of his face. Even in the dead of night, those green eyes shined like the sun.

He chuckled, exposing his perfectly straight, white teeth. "Ah, Bella," he sighed, pulled me closer to him. "I have to apologize."

I nodded. "I'm waiting."

He shifted his feet and scratched the top of his head—a thing he always did when he was nervous or even embarrassed. "I'm still getting used to this..._relationship_ thing." I opened my mouth to tell him that wasn't a very good excuse, but he placed a finger over my mouth to silence me. "I know that that doesn't seem like a good enough excuse for you, but Bella! I've never had this," he stepped back and waved his hand up and down my body, "before. I'm not as good as it as you are."

I pursed my lips. He was good—too good. I stepped up against him and placed my hand on his cheek. "I know, Edward. And I forgive you. But you _have _to not be so careless. I'm not a pro at this either, you know." He made a faux face of horror so I made him a face back. "I know I can be a bit…_over-the-top_, but I'll work on that. We'll work on each other, okay?"

He brought his arms around my waist and kissed my forehead. "Okay."

"Do you promise?"

"Promise."

I smiled with satisfaction as he brought his face to mine, resting his forehead against mine. "Isabella Swan, can you even begin to understand how much I love you? How much you mean to me?"

I kissed the tip of his nose before I said, "Same question for you Edward Cullen."

He rolled his eyes dramatically as another strong wind blew, flapping our coats, and blowing our hair all around us.

"So things are going to be different now?" I verified.

"Yes. So different."

I reached on my tiptoes to kiss him on the lips, but he, again, placed a finger on top of my lips to stop me. "What now, Edward?" I groaned.

He shrugged. "I just wanted to know _how _much you had missed me. On a scale from one to ten, I mean."

I noticed that spark in his eyes that usually meant he was thinking something that would probably get him slapped if he said them out loud.

"You," I said, completely ignoring his question, "interrupt me too much." Then I kissed him, completely off guard, like he had when we had fought. But this kiss was different. A start of new things. I would not be so demanding, and he would work on calling me when he says he will.

He had promised.

**A/N from Fall Down Again Bella: Okay guys, this chapter was written by xoxo41, so go review her copy of our story so she can answer, or review on both :-) Next update should be in a few days. REVIEW!! **


	4. You're Not Sorry

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N from Fall Down Again Bella: Sorry this took a while everyone, but basketball tryouts started this week, plus I had a dance performance and tons of rehearsals, so I've been super busy. Enjoy and review!**

**BPOV**

"Good morning beautiful." I opened my eyes to see Edward in front of me, smiling, his hair disheveled and his eyes sparkling. This was the way I liked to wake up in the mornings.

"Hey," I said softly, leaning forward to kiss him. He chuckled lightly but kissed me back, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer. Edward's tongue brushed across my lower lip and I gladly opened my mouth, letting our tongues slide together. I20didn't care that we both probably had bad morning breath, or that I probably looked like a complete mess after sleeping all night. All I cared about was me and Edward.

Edward pulled away a moment later, smiling contently. I sighed. We always ended our make out sessions much too soon for my liking.

"As much as I'd love to do this all day, your dad will probably be waking up soon and I have to get home," he said gently. I pouted. I hated when he had to leave.

"Okay," I sighed sadly. Edward chuckled and kissed my stuck out lower lip.

"If you keep making that face, I won't be able to leave," he warned teasingly. I stuck my lower lip out further, teasing him. He chuckled and leaned down to give me another chaste kiss. "I'll be back in an hour and a half to pick you up for school."

"'Kay. Love you," I said as he climbed out of the bed.

"Love you too," he said, kissing my forehead one last time. He slid lithely from the window and was gone. I sighed, rolling over onto my other side, the bed seeming too cold, too empty without Edward. After a few minutes of trying to sleep, I pulled myself out of bed for a shower. Charlie must have woken up sometime during my shower, because when I got dressed and went downstairs, he was already gone.

I ate a bowl of cereal and washed it, putting it away before turning into the living room to wait for Edward. I had woken up earlier then usual this morning, so I had time on my hands.

I thought back to the last few days. Everything had just gone back to normal. Edward and I were inseparable again, I was at the Cullen house every day after school and Edward slept over every night. Our fight was mer ely a blip, gone. Edward kept his promise, calling when he said he would and coming on time. Everything was going perfectly well.

Everyone seemed happy about Edward and me making up. Emmett complained about how mopey Edward got when he wasn't with me and how he'd play depressing music on his piano all day. Alice was happy to have her best friend back. Esme and Carlisle seemed thrilled that I was back around the house, and I was finally able to sleep again, so I was much more pleasant to be around.

A beep pulled me out of my thoughts and I jumped off the couch, grabbing my backpack. I rushed out of the house and slid into the passenger seat of Edward's silver Volvo. I leaned over and pressed a small kiss on his lips.

"I missed you," I told him, feeling his lips tug into a smile against mine.

"I missed you too," he said, pulling away. He started the car and hit play on the radio, my favorite song instantly playing. I smiled—he knew me so well. I sang along softly as we drove, and Edward's smile told me he was listening. He loved to hear me sing, even though I was awful.

We reached school quickly enough and went our separate ways to our classes. The only class we had together was biology, where we were lab partners. Alice was in my first period class and was already seated when I entered the room. I took my seat next to her and she instantly started chattering about some composer that was coming to Seattle tonight and how she was dying to see him and blah, blah, blah. I hadn't heard of him before, most of the composers I liked were dead anyways.

The day dragged. I couldn't wait to make it to biology. I sank into my chair, and Edward hadn't arrived yet. I pulled out my notebook and a pen and Edward rushed in just as the bell rang. I rolled my eyes at him and he smirked, sinking into the chair next to me. He reached over to take my hand in his, squeezing my fingers lightly. I squeezed back, keeping our fingers laced as I took notes on the lecture from our teacher. Edward never took notes, and yet he seemed to do perfectly on every test.

Biology passed quickly and soon it was lunch. Edward and I sat with Emmett and Rosalie, both of them seniors, and Alice and Jasper, both juniors like us. Our table was pretty out of the way. We had other friends—I was friendly with Jessica and Angela and a few other people—but we liked to be alone when we were all together.

"Come out to my car for a minute? I have to get something," Edward whispered, his breath sending a shiver down my spine. I nodded. I knew that was our code for "let's skip lunch and make out in the car." And I didn't mind one bit. Edward and I pulled out of the throng of students rushing to lunch and made our way to the parking lot. It was empty, aside from a few druggies smoking pot in their car, so we climbed into the backseat of Edward's Volvo without being noticed. Edward leaned forward and started the car, turning on the radio and leaving it on a background level.

I looked up at him, both of us slightly cramped in the backseat of his Volvo, and as soon as our eyes met, I jumped him. I pushed him back against the seat so he was lying down and I was hovering over him, our lips connected, our limbs tangled. Edward's hands were everywhere and I couldn't get enough of him. I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that until I caught a glimpse of the clock.

"Shit!" I cursed, pulling myself off of Edward. He looked confused, his hair all ruffled and his lips red and swollen from our intense make-out session.

"What?" Edward asked, sounding a little dazed. He sat up, pulling me with him, so I was seated on his lap. I tried to pull myself off of him and get my bag, but he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me still.

"We're going to be late," I said quickly, leaning over to grab my bag from the passenger seat.

"Let's skip the rest of the day," Edward suggested. I shook my head, fixing my shirt, which had gotten a bit rumpled from his roaming hands.

"You already skipped once this week. We need to get to class," I said sternly. Edward had a bit of a habit of skipping class every once in a while, and I had to keep him in line. He sighed, but let go of my waist, letting me slide off of him. I leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. "We'll continue this later. Promise." He smiled at the thought and grabbed his bag, opening the door so we could both climb out.

I checked my hair in the mirror and it was a total mess, but I knew I wouldn't be able to fix it. I just grabbed an elastic and tossed my hair into a messy bun. I knew everyone would be able to tell what I was doing before class, but I didn't really mind. Kissing Edward was worth the talk. I had to half run to my class, and I made it a few minutes late, earning a disappointed look from my teacher. Lauren Mallory was smirking, taking in my appearance. She leaned over to her companion and whispered something. I knew she was just jealous since she constantly tried to get into Edward's pants and failed.

I took my seat and pulled out my notebook, writing down the notes quickly before the teacher erased them from the board. Lauren continued to badmouth me with her friend, but I couldn't care less. Honestly, I was way too blissed out to think about anything other then Edward. His lips, his hands, his chest and abs…I shivered pleasantly just thinking about it. How was I lucky enough to get a God like him?

I jumped when the bell rang, so lost in my daydreams I barely noticed. I made my way to my next class, which flew by just as quickly as the previous one. The rest of the day was mostly a blur, and I found myself outside Edward's Volvo in no time. Edward wasn't at the car yet, so I leaned against the door and waited, knowing he was usually late.

Edward came out a few minutes later with Lauren. I noticed Lauren was laughing obnoxiously, one of her hands swatting at Edward's chest. Edward smirked at her, but I knew it was a condescending smile, not a real one. He continued walking towards me, rolling his eyes in Lauren's direction and I giggled, lifting my hand up to my mouth to hide my smile. Lauren followed Edward up to the car, laughing the whole way.

"What's so funny?" I asked Edward. Lauren sobered up quickly and glared at me.

"I didn't see you there Bella," she said, giving me a dirty look.

"Nothing's funny actually," Edward said. "Unless you find the fact that Lauren was trying to make you jealous by pretending to have a 'moment' with me, then I guess it was funny." I snorted a laugh as Lauren blushed three shades of red.

"That is pretty funny actually," I said. Lauren stormed away and I shook my head, opening the door after Edward unlocked it. We both slid in and Edward started the car, hitting forty the moment we got out of the parking lot. The CD we had been listening to earlier was still on and Edward and I laughed about Lauren on the ride home. I sighed sadly when we reached my house.

"Can you stay?" I asked, my voice sad. Edward smiled, leaning over to kiss me. He had turned the car off, so he pulled me onto his lap, allowing me to straddle him. I let my tongue slide over his lower lip and he groaned into my mouth. I leaned back a bit, trying to give my hands room to feel the muscles of his chest. A sudden, blaring horn caused us to break apart—a scream left my lips.

Edward burst out laughing, his musical chuckle filling the car. I realized then that I had honked the horn when I leaned back—basically I had scared myself there. I blushed red and started giggling as well, and soon enough, my sides were in stitches and I collapsed against Edward, breathless with laughter. It took us about ten minutes to calm down.

"You're so silly Bella," Edward said, his tone adoring. "I love you."

"Love you too," I giggled, kissing him chastely. "Want to hang out tonight?"

"Sure," Edward agreed instantly. "I'll pick you up at six, we'll have dinner and go back to my house."

"Sounds lovely. See you soon." I pressed another kiss to his lips before sliding back into the passenger seat and out of the car. Edward waited until I was in the house before peeling out of the driveway and disappearing around the corner. I hurried upstairs to shower and do homework before Edward came over. I put on my favorite pair of jeans and a cute t-shirt, scrunching my hair into waves. I put on a small amount of make-up, just enough to look a little prettier than usual. I went downstairs and found Charlie in the living room, watching the game.

"Hey Dad," I said cheerily, sinking into an armchair and picking up a book.

"Hey Bella. Going out tonight?" he asked. I nodded.

"Edward's picking me up at six, and I should be home by midnight," I said. It was a Friday after all, so I could stay out later then usual. Plus, Edward would just be back over at one for the night, so it didn't matter much how late we stayed out together.

Charlie smiled in approval and turned back to the game. I curled up in the armchair to read, getting lost in the pages of one of my favorite novels. I glanced up at the clock every ten minutes or so, and soon the clock read six. And soon it passed six, going to six fifteen, six thirty. I checked my phone for texts or calls every few minutes, but I had none.

At seven, I was beginning to feel hopeless, not to mention embarrassed and completely pissed. Charlie didn't seem to know what to do or say. He had noticed the time and realized Edward was late, or wasn't coming. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. This would normally be a mother's task, and he was completely out of his element.

"Are…are you sure he said six?" Charlie asked awkwardly after a moment. I nodded once, a stiff movement, my cheeks turning pink.

"Something…must have come up," I said after a moment. I glanced up at the clock. It was already seven fifteen. "I'll try calling him." I jumped out of my chair, grabbing my cell phone and speed dialing his number. It went straight to voicemail.

"This is Edward Cullen, I can't come to the phone right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can," Edward's voice came through the speakers.

"Hey," I said, after the small beep. "Where are you? We made plans, remember? Um…I'm still at home. Just call me, let me know you're okay. I'm kind of worried. Just let me know. Love you, bye." I hung up the phone.

I had to admit, I was worried. Edward had been late before, but it was never more then twenty minutes, thirty tops. I kept picturing car accidents, family emergencies or deaths, anything. I went upstairs at eight, knowing he wouldn't be coming. I collapsed onto my bed, tears streaming down my face. I didn't want to think he had stood me up, but I didn't want him hurt or sick or anything either. I still didn't get any calls or texts.

I changed into pajamas and crawled into bed, pulling the blankets up to my ears. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep, so I just kept my cell next to me in case he called or texted. I continued to cry, feeling crushed, embarrassed, hurt, angry, worried, everything all at once.

Then I heard three sharp raps at my window and I turned to see Edward, balanced precariously on the tree outside of my window. Half of me wanted to pull him inside and kiss him senseless. The other half wanted to push him out of the tree. I whipped the window open and glared at him. He looked repentant and apologetic.

"Go down, Edward," I growled. Now that I knew he was safe, I was pissed. Beyond pissed. I could take a lot of things. I forgave him all the time, just because I loved him so much. But this was ridiculous. Edward silently began climbing down the tree, me following after him, leaving the window open so I could get back in later. I saw Edward's motorcycle parked against the tree and I took a few steps towards the forest, leaning against a tree.

"Well?" I said after a moment.

"I'm sorry," he blurted quickly. "I forgot all about our plans because Alice told me that this great composer was in town, so I went with her to see him, but I remembered our plans and I was going to call you, but I had forgotten my cell phone at home. I'm so sorry, I know you must be so pissed." Edward's face was nervous as he waited for my response.

"So," I said after a moment, my voice deliberate and clear. "You ditched me for a composer?"

"I didn't mean to, I was going to call—" he began, but I interrupted him. Anger was pulsing through my veins. All of my worry, sadness, and embarrassment from earlier all pounded in my ears.

"You couldn't have used Alice's cell phone? She has my number! Or maybe a pay phone or something! You could've found a way," I snapped. "But you didn't. Instead, you left me waiting for you for _two hours_ in front of my dad. Do you know how embarrassing that is? For your own father to know you got stood up?" Edward looked guilty and apologetic, but I couldn't stop myself.

"I was so damn worried! I had no clue what could've happened to you! And then you have the god damn nerve to show up here to say you went to see some freaking composer?" Edward's eyes widened as he took in my expression; he knew now that I meant serious business. "I was humiliated in front of my father, I was let down and crushed and so damn worried about you! All for nothing! Nothing!"

"Bella," Edward said softly. I could feel tears sliding down my face. "Love, I'm so sorry. I had no idea—"

"No. You didn't. You never do," I half whispered, shaking my head. I folded my arms across my chest. I was done. I couldn't handle this anymore. I couldn't handle the fights, the missed calls and cancelled dates. It was too much—too much effort, too much pain and heartbreak.

"I can't do this anymore Edward," I said after a minute.

"What do you mean Bella?" Edward asked, his voice shaking.

"I mean I can't do this anymore," I repeated. I turned to face him. His emerald eyes looked confused, fearful, apologetic and hurt. I looked away. "We're always fighting. You never call, even though you say you will. You're never on time, and now you skipped a date without even letting me know." My voice cracked and I turned to stare at the clouds. They were churning, a heavy rain about to start at any moment.

"Bella…I'm so sorry Bella but…we can fix this. We can get through this," Edward insisted. "We always have."

"I've tried so damn hard Edward. I'm all out of strength. I can't handle this pain anymore. I'm sorry." And I truly was. I loved Edward. Truly. But I knew it was best for me to break up with him. He wasn't responsible enough, mature enough for a relationship. Not yet. "You promised Edward. So many broken promises." I shook my head, a raindrop landing on my arm. I stared at it for a moment.

"We can't break up Bella," Edward said, his tone slightly panicked. "I love you."

"I know you do. And I do love you. But love shouldn't be so hard," I said. I took a step closer to him, losing myself in his emerald eyes. Tears slid steadily from my cheeks and I could tell he was fighting off tears himself. I leaned forward and pressed my lips chastely to his, one last, final kiss.

"Goodbye Edward." I turned and ran back to my house, just as the rain broke through the clouds and began to pour onto the sodden earth.

_A/N: Sadness :( But just remember true love conquers all. REVIEW!!_


	5. Beginning to Heal

**A/N xoxo41: Sorry this chapter took so long. Christmas came by so fast, then New Years. I needed to get the holiday festivities out of my head before writing. Enjoy (:**

Being with somebody for six months, and then breaking up, is bound to leave some kind of void in your heart. I found that void not to be painful, but, in fact, just a vase space of nothingness. A place with no heartbeats and a place that is a constant reminder of the person who created it in the first place. Instead of the _thump thump_ of the missing heartbeat, there was a very faint pulsation, that I could only hear when I was alone in a room, or trying to go to sleep—_Edward, Edward, Edward_. And when I tried to chase the aching reminder away by humming, listening to my iPod, or placing a pillow overtop my head, it would get louder; like it was annoyed that I was trying to ignore it.

Today marked two and a half months since Edward and I had broken up. The constant reminders of the void in my heart were still there, but they got fainter and fainter every day. I haven't talked to Edward since our break up. We were so irrationally still in love that we hadn't even attempted to go through that awkward We're Still Going To Be Friends stage. When I threw away the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, I also threw away our friendship. It was a hard thing to face, and it gave me a longer recovery time. I not only had to deal with the hardship of the end of a long-term relationship, but I had to deal with the friendship issue. There was only one exception when we talked, and that was a week after our breakup, when we ran into each other in the school parking lot.

"_Bella?"_

_I was already humiliated by the fact that I was actually on my hands in knees on the pavement, looking under my car. I did not need this on top of it. I stayed still, and closed my eyes, putting into play that child-like illusion that if you can't see them, they can't see you._

_Footsteps tapped against the ground as they got louder and louder, announcing their arrival before I actually saw them, peeking one eye open. White sneakers, expensive, with no indication of where, or why, they cost so much, except for the logo on the side, that showed of the expensive brand. I'd been through a lot with those shoes._

"_I know you're there, Bella…I can see you."_

_The sad part was that I actually cringed, like I really thought I was invisible for a moment or something. _

_Trying to hold on to the little dignity I had left, I got up, brushing the dirt off my jeans with my hands, and faced him, looking right into those breathtaking, beautiful green eyes._

_No. Green eyes—that was all they were. Just green._

"_Hi," I mumbled, losing my nerve and allowing my eyes to drift elsewhere, instead of square in his eyes. Someone walking their dog, a kid on the swing set, a car waiting for someone to get in, a couple on a bench holding hands and kissing._

"_What were you doing?" Edward asked, sliding his hands into his pockets that were jeans, low on his hips. _

"_Oh," I said, blushing. "I dropped my, um, pencil."_

"_Did you retrieve it?" he asked, looking at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. "Maybe I can help."_

_I shook my head. "Nope. I'm fine, thank you."_

_I looked back at his face, and for a second I saw him look at me with That Look. I didn't really have a name for it, which is why I usually identified it with the name, That. It was tender, kind, and you could just see his heart pulsing with a special kind of love. It was vulnerable, almost like with that look he was saying, "Look, I know I'm supposed to be this big tough guy, but let's face it, nobody's that strong. Sometimes I need to break down, and you're the only person who I can do that in front of."_

_If we went back in time, say, two months, I would have melted into that face. Okay, to be brutally honest, I almost melted into that face that moment, but just before I took that one step forward that would guarantee me to grab onto him like he was the only thing in this world keeping me alive, I stopped, and thought back a week ago, to the big fight we had._

"_I have to go. See you," I mumbled, waving quickly and hopping into my car. I didn't look back at him while I pulled out, but right before I sped away, I looked in my parking space and saw him standing there, just staring at me. Beside him was my pencil._

And that was the last time I had spoken to him. Sure, I saw him at school and at random times around town, but we never spoke. I even managed to get my schedule rearranged so I didn't have the same classes with him any more (it was a rare time that I was actually glad to be the Chief of the Police of Fork's daughter).

We drifted further and further apart, until it was almost like he and I never existed together. That was until night came around and the void in my heart spoke up again.

Since then, my life has developed a pattern. School, homework, dinner, more homework, and then bed. Sometimes on a Saturday this pattern would be broken with an invite to a movie or a party (I couldn't help but notice that without Edward at my side, my popularity at school took a nose dive and as a result, I hardly ever got invited to parties, and if I ever did, they weren't good parties in the least).

Right now, I was doing my homework before I set off to make dinner for Charlie and me. I was probably going to make a quick dish of maca—

The doorbell sounded, and my thoughts were interrupted. I sighed and got up from my seat, making my way to the door.

"Hello?" I answered when I opened it, an automatic smile appearing on my face.

"Hey, Bella! What's up?"

I literally squealed, and hopped onto his, giving him a huge hug. "Jacob! I've missed you _so _much!"

I let go of him, to look at his face, which was glowing. I felt bad for exciting him so much with my hug, but I hardly cared at the moment. This was a welcome distraction from my normal day-to-day pattern.

"That's great," he said, and I vaguely wondered what made him smile all the time—I mean, didn't it hurt his cheeks?—it was nice though. A trait that you hardly see in people any more. People are so gloom and doom. "I've missed you too. Billy sent me over to deliver some fish fry. He said it's not anywhere as good as Harry Clearwater's, but it's worth a shot."

My dad's friend, Harry Clearwater, died last year. I didn't like to prepare dishes with fish for dinner, so he hadn't had his favorite, fish fry, since Harry's death. I was glad that he was going to be able to eat it again, and that I didn't have to cook today.

"Thanks, Jake. Tell Billy I said I appreciate it, 'kay?"

"Sure thing, Bella."

He smiled again, and I smiled in response. It was nice to be around Jake. I felt like I could just let go of the calm, cool, and collected façade I walked around with and just be the crazy, wild, nutty teenager who just wants to have fun. It was a side of me that hasn't really seen its days, and it was practically screaming to be let loose.

"Do you want to come in? Or do you have to go?" I asked.

He snorted, and that part of me came alive, "Unless you have somewhere to be, I thought we could hang out around town and do something."

"Sure," I responded. "Just let me put Charlie's food away."

He nodded and I closed the door, running to the fridge and placing the fish fry on the middle shelf, the white parchment paper crackling as I did so. I grabbed a Sharpie and labeled it: _Dinner from Billy. Its fish fry, so just put it in the oven wrapped in foil instead of the parchment paper for fifteen minutes on 350 to warm it up—Bella_. Then I closed the refrigerator door and wrote on the first page of a pack of sticky notes, made to hang on the fridge like a magnet: _Dinner's in the fridge. I'm out with Jake._

I then grabbed my jacket and ran outside, where Jacob was waiting his car the _Rabbit. _

"Sorry," I said as I hopped in shotgun. "I needed to give Charlie directions on the fish."

Jake nodded, starting the engine and backing out of my driveway.

And already I felt it. That feeling you get when things are going to be different from now on. Better.

I didn't know where we were going, and I was all right with that. It's been so long since I didn't know what was going to happen next that I found myself enjoying it. A lot.

"So," Jacob said, trying to make conversation. "What have you been up to?"

I thought about lying to him, saying I've been up to so many things it's hard to remember them all. Rock climbing, stock car racing, eating exotic food. But it was Jacob, and there was something about him that made me think he wouldn't laugh at me if I told him the pathetic truth, so I said, "Truthfully, not much," I said, and he didn't laugh or make a face, just like I thought. He was considerate. "How about you?"

A naughty smile spread across his face, and I giggled. "Not much," he answered. I rolled my eyes and nudged him with my elbow saying, "Awh, come on, Jake. Tell me." He laughed and nudged me back, giving in.

"I got a run in with the police," he grinned, "for speeding."

He seemed so awfully proud of this that it was almost comical. "How fast were you going?" I asked.

"Seventy-five," he informed me, speeding up his car as he said this, "in a forty mile-per-hour zone." I gulped. There was only one person I actually trusted to drive me around town speeding, and he wasn't with me at the moment. "Lucky thing Billy's friends with Charlie, though. He's the one who caught me, and just let me off with a warning. Didn't ask for a license or registration either," he added with a smug tone in his voice.

I nodded, impressed. "Wow."

He nodded also, as he took a sharp turn left, and seconded my, "wow."

"What else?" I pressed, wanting to keep him talking. There was something special about his voice. It was rough and husky, almost like comfort food for your ears.

I watched his face as he thought over his experiences, looking for a good one. "Nope," he said suddenly, "don't have anything. The speeding thing was too good that the rest would seem dull." He began to trail off as he said, "Should have told that one last."

I shook my head, and glanced out the window as we came to a stop. I vaguely knew where we were, somewhere in La Push, but I had no idea _where _in La Push we were. There was a beach to the left, and to the right was a series of small houses.

"Alright," Jake said, hopping out of his car, "let's go."

I nodded, and hopped out, letting the last part of my old self slip away the second I hit the hard ground. I was automatically walking around the car to be next to Jake, and when I reached him, I was expecting him to turn to the beach. Instead, he headed towards the little houses, and kept walking until we walked to the other side of them. Then he stopped, and looked around, taking my hand almost automatically, and leading me farther, still, until we've been walking for what felt like forever. Finally, we stopped in the middle of nowhere, facing some kind of mountain and a bunch of grass.

"Jake," I said, and had to clear my throat—it was the first time I've spoken since we began walking, "where exactly _are _we?"

He smiled down at me, his dark eyes kind, and said, "My space."

"You're _MySpace?_"

He rolled his eyes, "No, Bella. My _space_."

I shrugged, and followed him. There was literally a cave in the mountain, and inside it was a living space of old couches, TVs, mini refrigerators, and a microwave.

"Oh," I said. "Your _space._"

He laughed at me, and I laughed with him. He sat down on a couch and patted the space next to him. I sat beside him, and I was okay with it when he pulled me close to him. I let my head fall on his muscular chest, and I enjoyed his warmth. It was the first time I had allowed myself to be close to anyone in a while…

We stayed like that until the moon set and a rain storm started, our only source of light being the lightning and what light shined from the moon.


	6. Wild and Crazy

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

"So, Bella," Alice said in a casual voice as we walked together towards the cafeteria for lunch. "Want to come sit with us today? Please?" I rolled my eyes. Alice asked me this same question every day, and I always gave her the same answer.

"No, thank you," I answered shortly, picking up my pace a bit to get away from her. I loved Alice to death, but she can get very persistent when she wants something.

"Come on Bella. You won't have to sit near him. You can sit at the whole other end," she promised me instantly, just like every other day. I sighed and stopped. Alice took a few steps past me before realizing I had stopped. The way she doubled back was almost comical, but I wasn't in the mood for laughing.

"Alice, we have this discussion every single day. My answer's not going to change. I promise, you'll be the first to know when I want to sit with you again. But right now, I just can't handle it. All it'll do is cause stupid drama and I don't want to do that. You're my best friend Alice but I'm going to sit where I always do because that's what I want to do. You're not going to change my answer." My voice was hard and strong, even though I felt like crying. Something about my expression caused Alice to drop the subject.

"Fine Bella. Don't sit with us. I don't care. Do whatever you want." I could hear the pain in her voice as she stomped away and I closed my eyes, pressing my fingers to my temple, trying to fight off an impending headache. I was angry at myself for making Alice upset, I was angry with her for always pushing me to sit at her table, and I was angry at Edward for making me so afraid to sit at that table. I opened my eyes again and was surprised to see a pair of emerald eyes staring at me, clearly questioning my sanity. I blinked in surprise, and they were gone—he was hurrying through the cafeteria door to the very table I had refused to sit at. I could see Alice sitting next to Rosalie, and it looked like Rosalie was comforting her. I felt another rush of guilt. I didn't mean to get so frustrated with her.

I walked into the cafeteria and tried to make eye contact with Alice, to let her know without words I was sorry. But instead, I met Rosalie's hostile looking eyes. I stared back in surprise. She was practically glaring at me. Now, Rosalie and I weren't best friends, but we were perfectly friendly with each other. I had never seen this look from her before, at least not directed towards me. I blinked, and looked away, not even meeting Alice's eye like I had wanted to.

I just got a lemonade for lunch, suddenly not hungry enough for food. I sat down at the table I had recently joined, a normally empty table in the far corner of the room. It was quiet there, and I could be alone, which I enjoyed. After Edward and I broke up, a lot of the girls I thought were "friends" ditched me, and I realized they were only trying to get to Edward through me. I didn't really care, I didn't like them too much anyways, but I tolerated them. My other friends—Alice, Angela and possibly Rosalie, although I was still confused about the death glare she had given me—all sat at Edward's table. Their loyalty to him was stronger than their loyalty to me. Angela was still kind to me, but she didn't want to leave her boyfriend Ben, so she stayed at their table. Alice obviously couldn't ditch her own brother.

But I didn't mind. I was never fully alone. I spent my lunch hour to talk to Jacob. I pulled out my cell phone, a small smile appearing on my face as I dialed his cell phone number, which I had recently memorized. My lunch and Jacob's lunch on the reservation gratefully coincided, so we were able to talk on the phone for the short half hour they gave us to eat. He said he didn't mind spending lunch talking to me, since all of his friends were in a different lunch anyways. It was good to talk to someone during lunch. I didn't feel as lonely.

"Hey Bells," he answered cheerfully.

"Hey," I replied, an automatic smile spreading across my cheeks.

"How's school?"

"Tolerable."

"That bad?"

"Pretty much, yeah. Alice tried to get me to sit with them again today." I sighed and looked across the cafeteria again. Alice seemed cheered up, and was sitting next to Jasper, their fingers intertwined, her head leaning against his shoulder. Their loving stance made me feel lonely.

"Doesn't she get that you don't want to?" Jacob asked. I had already told him all about Edward and I, about the whole cafeteria drama and why I didn't want to sit with them at lunch. He understood me—that's one of the things that made me enjoy Jacob's company so much. He understood my issues, and tried to help me without pressuring me. It was very refreshing.

"She knows, but I think she still thinks Edward and I are going to make up and become like we were before all of this happened." My heart fell at these words, and how I realized they weren't going to be true. Not anymore. I blinked back tears. "And she's my best friend, so she wants me to be happy, and Edward's her brother, so she wants him to be happy. I think she thinks that the only way to make us both happy is to get us back together."

"But you weren't happy with him," Jacob reminded me, and I thought I heard a hint of anger or something in his voice.

"I was happy with him though Jacob…I mean, I really loved him. Loved him." Past tense, I reminded myself. Not present. "Things were just so unreliable with him. He's not ready for a relationship I guess. But I was still happy…so happy…" My voice was wistful as I was swept into the memories of happier times, times when we were just…together.

_"Don't be afraid Bella," he assured me. He had both of my hands encased in his larger ones, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm right here. I won't let go of you."_

_"What if I hit something?" I asked nervously, keeping my eyes shut, not wanting to see the long drop below us._

_"There's nothing for you to hit. We'll be perfectly safe. I'll keep you safe Bella. Forever." I couldn't doubt the sincerity of his words. I let my eyes slide open, and brown met green as he stared back at me with honesty and love._

_"I trust you," I promised him. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, wrapping his arms around me to deepen the kiss. I twined my fingers in his hair, taking a step closer. He pulled away after a moment._

"_Ready?" he asked gently._

"_Ready," I confirmed. We turned to face forward, and the waves churned below us. Never in my life would I have thought I'd be cliff-diving at the end of August, when the weather is warm enough to actually swim. The drop had to be a hundred feet, at the least. It was huge. I could feel fear bubble in my stomach. Edward's hand squeezed mine and I knew I would be safe. He would keep me safe._

"_On the count of three," Edward whispered. "One."_

_Warm wind whipped my hair around my face._

"_Two."_

_The waves churned and crashed against the rocks we had to try and avoid._

"_Three."_

_With Edward's hand in mine, I leapt._

_I let out a half fearful, half exhilarated shriek as I plummeted towards the ocean below, Edward laughing next to me, his hand still in mine. The world whipped by us at breakneck speed, red-brown cliffs and green vegetation and blue ocean all blurring together in a whirl of color and light._

_Our bodies sliced through the water like a warm knife through butter. As we hit the water, the world went silent. No whipping wind, no yelling or laughing. Just silence. Almost peaceful silence. The water crushed against my eardrums as we plummeted, the cool water chilling me to the bone. I opened my eyes._

_Through the greenish haze of the ocean, I could see Edward, his eyes open as well. Our hands were still locked, and the world was green and silent around us. I could see seaweed floating, fish, rocks, everything that made an undersea world come alive. I could feel the need for air in my lungs as we began kicking upwards in tandem. I could see the water getting clearer as we neared the rare, sunny surface._

_Suddenly, sound, light and color were back. I could hear us gasping for air, the wind whistling, the caw of a seagull as it flew overhead. I could see the dark blue ocean around us, the light blue sky and yellow sun, the red brown rocks and white foaming waves. Edward laughed again, breathless, both of us kicking to stay above the surface._

"_Told you I'd keep you safe," Edward whispered. He swam closer to me and wrapped his arms around my body, easily keeping us both afloat._

"_I should never have doubted you," I said breathily, giving him a weak smile. I was shivering from the cool water, and my hair was dripping onto my shoulders._

"_No you shouldn't have," Edward agreed. He pressed his lips against mine, and we both sank into the silent world below us._

"Bella? Bella, you there?" Jacob's annoyed voice pulled me out of my memory, and I realized I had tears in my eyes. I wiped them away quickly.

"Yeah, Jake, sorry. I sort of zoned out there for a moment," I said, and my voice was breathless, like I had actually experienced the thrill of the dive again.

"That's okay," Jacob answered. "I was just wondering what you were going to do about Alice."

"I don't know yet," I sighed, staring back over at her table. I was surprised when I met a pair of emerald green eyes—the second time in the last half hour. They were staring at me with concern, and I realized he had seen me crying. I looked away hastily, going back to my conversation. "I'll call her after school, or maybe I'll catch her in the parking lot and apologize. Maybe when Edward cuts I'll spend lunch with her."

Edward had been cutting school a lot more lately, and I had heard through Alice that his grades were dropping. That made me feel guilty. I know my encouragement helped Edward keep his grades up. Not that he needed it really—he was smarter than most of the teachers at the school—he just got easily bored and distracted, choosing to skip class rather than sit through another lecture on something he had no interest in. Edward spent more time at school when we were together. I knew it wasn't my responsibility to keep his grades up—it was his own—but I still couldn't help feeling like it was my fault he was doing worse in classes.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Jacob said. "Listen, the bell just rang. I have to go. I'll talk to you soon though, alright?"

"Sure Jacob. I'll call you later."

"Bye Bells."

"Bye Jake." I shut my phone and realized that my lunch was emptying out as well. I grabbed my unopened lemonade and stuck it into my backpack before hurrying off to my next class. I made it just before the bell rang and was able to slip into my seat and take out my notebook before the lecture began.

The end of the day couldn't have come fast enough, and I hurried to wait by my truck so I could catch Alice on her way out. Many faces passed, a few even said hello to me as they did. Most of them just kept walking like I wasn't even there. I didn't see Alice anywhere, and I had pretty much given up, thinking she must have made it outside before me, and deciding to call her tonight. I opened the door to my car, and was ready to leave when I heard someone speak behind me.

"Bella?" My heart sped. My breath caught in my throat. I took a deep breath and turned around, and for the third time today, I found myself staring into a pair of passionate, emerald green eyes. I couldn't believe what the sound of his voice did to me—the way it made my heart leap, the way it made my breathing speed up.

"Yeah?" I finally choked. He was staring at me as if really seeing me for the first time.

"Why were you crying? At lunch today?" Edward asked, and I could hear nothing but concern in his voice.

"I just remembered something…" I trailed off, and a moment of wordless communication passes between us. He realized it was something about us, and I realized that he cared enough to still ask. I swallowed dryly and began to climb into my truck.

"Are you okay, though?" Edward asked. One of his hands was pressed against my door, holding it open as I sat in the driver's seat.

"I'm fine," I lied, but my surprise at actually talking to him covered up my usual bad lying. "Thanks."

"No problem," he replied distractedly. He took a step backwards and moved his hand, allowing me to close to door.

"Bye Edward." I hated the way it sent shivers up my spine when I spoke his name.

"Goodbye Bella." I backed out of my parking spot, completely forgetting about waiting for Alice, and drove to my house, able to hold back my tears until I hit the bed upstairs.

**A/N from FDAB: Hey all! I hope you like this chapter, and review. I wanted to add some Edward/Bella fluff in here while they're fighting, so it's not so bad. REVIEW!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

_A/N (xoxo41): I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!_

"Just keep her safe, alright?"

Jacob nodded in earnest, and shook my dad's hand. "Of course I will, Charlie. You know me."

Charlie smiled, causing lines to form on the corner of his eyes. "You're right. I do. Have fun, okay?"

I rolled my eyes and grabbed Jacob's arm. "We are _just_ going to dinner and a movie, dad. Not some crazy strip club to have sex, drink, and do drugs."

I glanced up at Jacob, who turned a shade of red at my words. I pulled his arm in the direction of the front door, and gave a look to my dad.

"Bye, Bells," he said.

I grunted. "Bye, dad."

Jacob and I finally escaped our house, and were walking to his car. He opened up my door for me, and I slid in as he ran over to the driver's side, and hopped in the car.

"You look beautiful tonight, Bella," he said, looking at me intently. I felt awkward and nervous all of a sudden.

"T—Thanks," I replied smiling back timidly at him.

He looked confused but thankfully didn't bring it back up. "Alright," he said with a big smile on his face. "Let's get out of here."

I smiled back somewhat timidly, and turned my head to look out my window.

"So," Jacob began, trying to grab my attention. "Nice night out for a date, huh?"

My eyes got wide, and my stomach did a flip. Did I ever say that this was a date? No, of course I didn't…I would have remembered that.

"A date?" I squeaked.

He froze for a second, and even though I wasn't looking at his face, I could sense the deep cringe he must have made with his face. I cringed in response, already regretting voicing what we both, obviously, had different views about.

"Did I say date?" He said after an awkward pause.

"Yeah," I answered, turning to look at his face. "You did."

He laughed, and the sound was forced. "Well you know what I meant, right?"

"Umm…no."

"Oh," was all he said, and we both shut up.

To say the trip to the restaurant was awkward was a complete understatement. And I hated that. Jacob and I were supposed to be effortless friends. Being with him was supposed to be as natural as breathing; simple. One plus one equals two and all that.

After what seemed like years, Jacob pulled into the only restaurant in Fork's that was as close to a fancy restaurant as it got here. The Lodge. Again, I cringed, and plastered a smile on my face, for both of our benefits.

He took my hand, but I didn't mind that. Holding hands with Jacob was just another part of our friendship. It was just how we were. I knew that anybody watching us would automatically assume we were a couple, but I didn't really care about what people thought. I wasn't put on this earth to please others.

"Table for two," Jacob told the hostess. I had a weird moment of déjà vu, remembering Edward taking me out to dinner at La Bella Italia.

"_Hello there," he said in a husky voice. The woman swooned. He bit his lip to hide back the laughter I knew was about to bubble to the surface. Edward knew how dazzling he was—and he used that to his advantage. Mostly on me._

"_H-hi," the hostess stuttered._

"_I have reservations for Cullen," Edward purred seductively. I rolled my eyes and squeezed his fingers a little too hard. He chuckled out loud and the hostess blushed tomato red. I bit my lip to hide my laughter._

"_Right this way…sir," she breathed, her eyes wide. I shook my head and followed as Edward towed me along. She sat us at a booth in the corner. "Your waitress will be right out."_

"_Thank you," Edward said with a wink. I thought she was going to faint. She stumbled away, glancing over her shoulder every five seconds._

"_I hate it when you do that," I scolded. "That poor girl."_

"_Oh come on, you love seeing me tease girls like that. And you know you're the only girl for me," he said with a cocky smile._

I smiled involuntarily at the memory and realized a second late that our table was ready.

"Coming Bella?" Jacob joked, reaching his hand out to me. Funny. I hadn't remember ever letting go of it in the first place.

"Yeah," I replied, grasping his huge, warm hand, which just about swallowed mine. "I am."

We sat down in a booth across from each other. There were already two glasses of water sitting on the table, so I opened a straw and started sipping it.

"So…" Jacob started, but we were interrupted with the waiter. He had a cute face, but he looked like he just hit a growth spurt, causing him to look awkward and out of place with his body.

"My name is Anthony, and I'll be your waiter this evening."

I stopped mid sip and my eyes widened. Anthony was Edward's middle name.

What was wrong with me? I was here with Jacob. Not on a date, but still. Why tonight was I suddenly thinking about Edward? This was pathetic.

And maybe I should start to date Jacob. Maybe it's what I need…

"Bella," Jacob said. "What do you want to drink?"

I looked up at the waiter, and my face flushed with embarrassment.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I'll just have this water."

The waiter nodded, gave me a look that implied I was crazy, and moved on.

"What are yo—" Jacob started, but I cut him off with a kiss.

He held my face in between his giant hands, and I couldn't help but feel disappointed. There was no spark, and although I could tell Jacob was into it, I couldn't help but feel nothing. Our lips were moving perfectly in sync with each other, but that was the problem. This shouldn't be an exact mathematical equation. It should be spontaneous, crazy, wild. Not…_perfect_. In theory.

And my eyes couldn't help but open, and look around to see who was watching us. There were a few people, but they quickly looked away. I sighed and slid back into my seat, giving up on the kiss.

Jacob was smiling. "That…_wow._That was amazing, Bella."

I smiled weakly, while visualizing myself kicking me. That was so stupid. I acted on impulse…a moment of missing Edward, and wanting to fill the void.

What. An. Idiot.

"Bella," Jacob continued. "That was so unexpected. Wow. I had no idea. Especially after the way you acted when I called this a date. I mean…wow."

I fought back rolling my eyes, and the image of kicking myself transformed into me jumping off a bridge.

Anthony came back and gave us our drinks.

"Are you ready to order?" He asked us.

"No," I said, the same time Jacob said, "Yes."

Again, the waiter looked at me like I was crazy, and said, "I'll be back in a few minutes while you figure it out."

I watched him walk away and sighed. Rubbing my temples and resisting the urge to wipe off my mouth.

I had thought he dropped the subject, until he said in a low, husky voice, "So are we dating now?"

I was ready to snap back at him with a curt, "_no", _but stopped short.I didn't want to hurt him. So I didn't say anything. I looked down at the table, and although I felt him staring at me, I didn't say anything, or even look up.

"I'll take that as a no," he grumbled.

We didn't really speak to each other for the rest of the dinner, and immediately after, he drove me home and dropped me off at my house.

"Do you want me to call you?" I had said to him, my hand on the door handle.

"You can do whatever you what," he replied curtly.

"Bye," I said, opening the door. He didn't reply, so I climbed out and only a second before the door slammed shut did I hear a low, muffled, "Bye."

And now, a few minutes after he had sped away, I was standing across the street from my house. It seemed like the night went too fast, and I wasn't ready to call it over.

I saw headlights and glanced over. With the light blinding me, I couldn't make out what car it was, or who was even driving it. It was until it passed me, going really fast I might add, did I notice it was a silver Volvo.

It stopped suddenly, the shriek it made making me jump. I wasn't sure if I was happy about this, or not.

"Hey," I heard him finally yell. My pulse began racing at the sound of his voice, and I cursed myself for that.

"Hello," I yelled back, finally making my legs take me over to him. "Why are you here?"

He laughed. "That sounds nice."

"You know what I mean."

He nodded. "My dad had a report to give to Charlie. They are apparently looking for evidence with some guy who's waiting to go to court."

I nodded.

Edward was still so beautiful. It killed me.

"Who were you with?" He asked.

I looked at him curious face and said, "Jacob Black. He lives in La Pu—"

"La Push," He interrupted, an angry look crossing his face. "Jacob Black from La Push?"

I was confused at his tone, which was raising, becoming an angry yell.

"Why the hell are you hanging out with him, Bella? Are you dating him?"

"So what if I am!" I yelled back, not thinking about what I was saying. "Maybe I'm in love with him! You aren't my father," I retorted. "You don't even know Jacob!"

He breathed out a gust of air and grabbed me by the shoulders, forcing me to look into his green eyes.

"I'm just concerned about you, Bella. I'm not joking. Jacob…he just isn't the guy you should be hanging out with. He could be dangerous."

"You're terrible Edward," I hissed. "You're making assumptions about somebody you don't even know!"  
"Bella!" He yelled, and I abruptly shut up. "Listen to me," he said in a softer tone. Honey and velvet. "I'm just concerned about you. I care about you."

"If you cared about me you would have called all of those times," I replied, instantly regretting saying it when hurt touched his perfect features.

He let go of my shoulders, and scratched the back of his neck. "You're right," he said, putting his hands up in a surrender pose. "You're right."

"I didn't mean that," I said, remorseful.

"Sure Bella," he said, about to climb back into his car.

"Edward," I called, wanting to talk to him some more.

"What?"

I walked around the other side of the car, and rested my chin on his car roof.

"How have you been doing?" I asked.

He looked away for a second, and then made a laughing sound and smiled at me.

"I've been alright. Guess what?" He said, suddenly excited.

"What?" I inquired, not being able to keep back my huge smile.

"Carlisle got me another motorcycle."

My eyes bulged. "Seriously?"

He nodded.

"Congratulations!" I laughed, walking over and giving him a hug on impulse. "You totally deserve it. What number is this one? Eight?"

He hugged me back, holding me tightly. "Funny," He said, his tone implying otherwise. "And it's the fifth one." At the same time, we noticed what we were doing and laughed, embarrassed. We let go, and just like that, we felt suddenly awkward.

"Well…" Edward started.

"Um…"

"I'll catch you later, Bella," He said, climbing into his car.

I nodded and forced a smile. "Bye, Edward."

He waved, and pulled out of my driveway, turning his car around so it faced to the east. I waved to him, and he waved again before speeding away.

Great, I thought. He thinks I'm dating Jacob. And he thinks I'm in love with Jacob.

But it doesn't matter, I argued with myself. Because I'm done with him.

_Review!!!! I hope you guys enjoyed the Bella/Edward moment (:_


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

"Alice! Alice wait up," I called. She was walking ahead of me in the hall, chatting with Rosalie. She paused when she heard her name and turned around. She looked kind of upset and cautious when she saw it was me, and I realized she was probably still angry about yesterday, how I had upset her. Rosalie turned around too, but she didn't look happy to see me.

"What's up Bella?" Alice asked, and she sounded a little petulant. I was just glad she was talking to me.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. About yesterday," I said apologetically, biting my lip. Alice smiled and Rosalie raised her eyebrows. "I shouldn't have snapped at you and I'm really sorry. And…if you're still offering, I thought maybe I could sit with you guys today." Alice's eyes lit up and she beamed.

"Oh don't worry Bella you're totally forgiven," she bubbled and I smiled back at her enthusiasm. It was just like Alice to forgive me, no questions asked. She was truly my best friend. "And of course you can sit with us! You don't even need to sit near Edward if you don't want to, I totally understand. Let's go!" She was almost squealing near the end and she grabbed my hand, pulling me into the cafeteria. Rosalie walked next to her, and she rolled her eyes at me or shook her head every few moments. I was getting pretty annoyed with her sudden distaste towards me. We had never been the best of friends before, but she had never disliked me. I wanted to say something, but I was kind of intimidated.

"Why the change of heart, Bella?" Rosalie asked, her tone contemptuous. I blinked in surprise. What was with her?

"Well, I want to sit with my friends," I said, only telling a half truth. I had actually decided yesterday, after Edward left my house. We had actually had a somewhat normal conversation. Sure, he had yelled at me about Jake at first—but fighting was something I was used to with him. And we had gotten past it. And maybe it was a little awkward too—but awkwardness was expected, and maybe by spending time together it wouldn't be so awkward. So maybe we could manage being friends…after all, it had been a little over three months since we broke up. Maybe we were better off as friends.

"That's all?" Rosalie pressed in that same tone. I just shrugged. With the glare on her face and the contempt in her tone, she wasn't really the person I wanted to confide in. Rosalie made a scoffing noise in the back of her throat and threw me an annoyed look. Once again I was shocked by her hostility. Rosalie had never been like this to me before. Ever.

I was actually grateful when we reached the cafe. Rosalie left to go sit down with Emmett, and Alice and I went to the lunch line to get food. She got a salad and I got a sandwich. We even chatted like normal girlfriends. It had been a while since the two of us had a normal conversation like this. She told me all about how Jasper and her were planning a road trip to California and how I absolutely had to come with them because everyone was going. I told her I'd think about it.

When we approached the lunch table, a hush fell over the table. There were only two seats left, one next to Jasper and one next to Edward—the one I always used to sit in. Angela was smiling encouragingly and Rosalie was glaring pointedly at the opposite wall, arms folded across her chest. Alice hesitated for a moment, and I could tell she was letting me pick my seat first. She was willing to give up her seat next to Jasper so I could sit there. I wasn't going to break those two up, so I sank down into the chair next to Edward. Everyone was still totally silent, and all eyes were on me (besides Rosalie's, since she was still glaring at the wall).

"Um…hi," I said awkwardly, my cheeks turning red.

"Bella!" Emmett cheered and he stood and hugged me. I laughed, and it instantly broke the tension. Emmett always knew just what to do. "Long time no see. How you been?" Rosalie rolled her eyes at Emmett, but he didn't notice. His smile and dimples took up his whole face and I realized how much I missed his smile and laughter.

"I've been okay," I told him, grinning as he let me down. I sat back down in my seat, not making eye contact with Edward, whose eyes were burning holes in the side of my head. "How have you been?"

"Pretty damn awesome," he grinned and I just had to laugh again. Conversation started normally again, and everyone was chattering away, just like it used to be. I was actually happy to be back. I had missed all of my friends, and I could deal with the awkwardness of seeing Edward. I felt a little odd, Edward and I being the only one's who weren't a couple, but everyone was reaching out to include us in their conversations.

"Why now, Bella?" Edward asked softly, and I was the only one who heard him. "Why did you choose now?"

"Well we had an almost normal conversation yesterday," I reminded him, my voice longing for him to understand, to accept. "And I miss everyone. I was hoping we could just be…friends." I shrugged, letting him know it was really up to him. Honestly, if Edward told me right then he didn't want to see me at his table, I would have left. If he told me to get up and leave, I would have.

"We can try," he answered, but he sounded doubtful. I had my doubts too—I knew it would be hard to be around him and not hold his hand or kiss him. But I was confident that we could do it.

"That's all I ask." I smiled and he did too. Seeing his crooked grin was like seeing flowers bloom after a big snow storm—it made me feel so happy.

The rest of lunch passed by without incident. Edward and I didn't talk much, but at least we weren't fighting. I was able to catch up with Jasper and Emmett, both of whom I hadn't seen much of since Edward and I broke up. It was nice to be with my friends again—I didn't realize how much I had missed them until then. Angela seemed really happy to have me back as well. The only person who seemed angry was Rosalie and I still had no idea why.

Lunch ended faster than I was used to. I stood and dumped my empty tray and started walking to my next class. I was almost there when a hand wrapped around my arm and I was yanked into the girl's bathroom. I let out a squeak of surprise before I saw the person who grabbed me was Rosalie. She reached behind me and locked the bathroom door. I started to feel nervous, my stomach filling with butterflies. She turned to face me, hands on her hips and a glare on her face.

"Look Bella," she began angrily, and I knew I was about to find out what her problem with me was. I braced myself for the worst. "I want you to stop. You're hurting my whole family by doing this. First you break Edward's heart. He hasn't been the same since you dumped him, and it's affecting everyone else. Carlisle and Esme are worrying like crazy because Edward's grades are dropping and he hasn't been happy. We're all walking on eggshells at home because Edward will flip out at the most random times. Alice has been pouty and upset because she feels like she lost a best friend. Jasper is sad because she's sad, and Emmett hasn't been himself. He doesn't joke around anymore because he's afraid of offending someone. I can't stand being around everyone when they're like this. And it's all because of you."

"Look Rose, I didn't mean for all this to happen. Edward and I didn't work out, and there's nothing I can do about that—" She cut me off, no understanding in her eyes.

"Fine. I accept that. You guys are over and it didn't work. But now, right when Edward was finally starting to improve again, his grades were just starting to climb back up and he's skipping less class, you come back and it's only going to hurt him. You're hurting everyone by trying to make things go back to the way they were. Just stop thinking about yourself for a change and start thinking of the people you're affecting." She finally finished, leaving me in a stunned silence. Finally, after a minute of staring like an idiot, I found my voice.

"You can't keep me from my friends. Alice is my best friend and I'm very good friends with everyone else at the table. Even Edward and I are managing to be cordial to each other. It seems to me that the only one causing problems here is you," I accused her and she let out a growl of frustration.

"Bella this is all your fault! Edward's improving; do you really want to make him worse? Again?" she demanded.

"Of course not, Rose, and I can't control Edward's life. I can't demand he go to class and improve his grades. You know he wouldn't listen and you know he'll do what he wants. It isn't my fault, and I won't let you toss accusations at me when they're not true!" I ranted, and Rosalie seemed slightly taken aback. Her mouth was opened into a perfect O. "And by the way—before you accuse me of not caring about anyone but myself, take a good, long look in the mirror and see who the real selfish one is."

Before I could change my mind—or Rosalie could hit me—I unlocked the door and bolted. I didn't want to go to class, and tears were welling up in my eyes. I headed to my car, deciding to skip, which was very unlike me. How dare she accuse me of not caring? The only reason I sat at the damn table was so I could cheer Alice up, and make everyone happy again. How was it my fault that Edward didn't do his schoolwork anymore? I wasn't his mother! It wasn't my job to supervise him.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right. I did always hurt people. I hurt Edward first, then Alice. And I even hurt Jacob. I climbed into the driver's seat of my car and let the tears fall freely. I could've done so many things differently. Maybe Edward and I breaking up was inevitable, but I could have stayed his friend and helped him out. I didn't need to snap at Alice—she was only trying to help. And Jacob…oh Jacob. Why had I ever kissed him? What the hell was I thinking? I could tell his feelings were stronger than mine and I gave him hope, just to stomp it down again.

Rosalie was right. I only hurt people.

I broke down even harder. Why did I have to be such an awful person? I decided that I wouldn't sit at the lunch table anymore. I would just take myself out of their lives so I couldn't hurt them anymore. It wasn't fair to everyone else to have me around. I would only hurt them, and it wasn't worth it for any of us. They didn't want to get hurt, and I didn't want to be the one that hurt them.

I was startled out of my episode by three sharp knocks on my window. I jumped and whirled around, surprised to see Edward standing by my window, his eyes curious and caring. I opened the door and leaped out, tossing myself into his arms.

"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry I'm h-hurting you," I choked through my tears. "I'm an awful p-person I'm so s-sorry!" He was frozen in place for a moment, but after a moment his arms tentatively wrapped around me. He patted my back softly, gently stroking the tips of my hair the way he always did when I was upset.

"It's okay Bella. You're not an awful person, you're wonderful," he assured me, and it only made me cry harder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I sobbed, hugging him tightly. "I don't m-mean to make you or anyone else ups-set. I only h-hurt people and I'll s-stay away I p-promise."

"Don't do that, Bella," Edward said gently, soothingly. "What happened?"

"Rose," I explained, sniffling and Edward rolled his eyes.

"Rosalie doesn't know what she's talking about. She's being selfish. Trust me, she's voiced her concerns before and they're just ridiculous. Nothing that anyone is doing…that I'm doing…is your fault. I promise, Bella," he said. I took a few deep breaths and pulled myself out of his arms. Instantly I missed the warmth, comfort and familiarity.

"I'm sorry, Edward. And thank you for this," I said, wiping the tears away from my eyes. Edward half smiled at me.

"We may not be together anymore Bella, but I still care. I don't want to see you sad." I smiled wetly at his words.

"And, as your friend, I don't want to see you do badly in school and skip class," I said tentatively. I didn't know if he would be willing to listen to me or not, but I had to try. If Rosalie was right and Edward was doing this because of me—I didn't want to be the reason he didn't get into his dream school or get his dream job.

"It's not your responsibility, Bella," Edward said, and his voice was abruptly cold.

"I know that, but that doesn't mean I don't care," I said softly, taking his hand and squeezing it gently before letting it go. Edward sighed.

"It was hard for me Bella. You know what I was like before…you." He stared at the ground as he spoke. Edward had been a big rebel before he met me—skipping school and classes almost every day, smoking and drinking. He was a party guy, and somehow, some way, I had tamed him. "And it was easy for me to fall into old habits. But…I don't want to do that to my family again. I'm trying to be better, Bella, but it's hard. You…you made it easier for me." He peeked up at me again and I felt an instant rush of guilt for abandoning him.

"I'd like to be here still…even if it is just as friends. I want to help you and I want to be your friend," I whispered. "I know it's hard, believe me I do. But I want to help. With what I can. I want you to be happy." Edward smiled, blinking furiously, and for a moment I thought he was going to cry. He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were perfectly dry.

"Thank you Bella. I'd like that," he muttered distractedly. "I'll see you later, okay?" He started to head for his car.

"What about school?" I called after him. He turned around, his brilliant crooked smirk on his face.

"I promise I'll do better and stop skipping," he answered. "Starting tomorrow." I just laughed and shook my head as he climbed into his Volvo and peeled out of the parking lot.

**A/N: Okay, so I'm back. I took a much needed break and I don't plan on taking another. My updates might be a little irregular right now, but I'm going to try for once a week or every other week. I missed you and I'm sorry. I didn't abandon this though and I hope you read it. REVIEW because I missed the hell out of them and all of you.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**BPOV**

"Hey Jake, it's me again. I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted the other night. I was being stupid and I'm sorry. Please just…call me back, okay? I'm worried about you and I miss you. Alright, bye." I hung up the phone, sighing. Jacob had been avoiding me ever since our stupid non-date when I had kissed him on impulse.

I honestly didn't know what I was thinking when I kissed him that night. Well, I know I was thinking about Edward. And somehow, that had made me kiss Jacob, just to see…if it was the same. If it was as passionate and if it made my heart stop and my breath catch in my throat. But it didn't. I used Jacob for some silly little experiment and hurt him, all because I wanted to see if I could feel the same way I felt kissing Edward with someone else. But all I had done was ruin my friendship with Jacob, and hurt him.

I rolled over on my bed, staring out the window, watching the raindrops race down the window panes. The ground below my window was muddy, and the leaves on the tree outside my window were dripping with water. The sky was the same color gray that it always was, and a big clap of thunder almost made me jump out of my skin.

"Hey Bells?" There was a soft knock on my door and I turned to see Charlie standing in the doorway.

"Hey Dad."

"I just got called into work. There's been an accident a few miles up the highway and it's pretty bad, so I'll be there all night," he explained. "But I don't want to leave you here alone, especially in a storm like this."

"I'll be fine Dad," I said instantly, although I knew the constant thunder and the feeling of being alone would freak me out all night. But I understood that Charlie had to work, and I didn't want to make him feel bad.

"Can you just call someone, maybe? See if you can stay at a friend's house for the night?" he pleaded and I sighed, but nodded in agreement. I would feel better if I was with someone else. But I didn't know who to call. I scrolled through my contacts list. Jacob was out of the question, since he wouldn't speak to me. Angela's brothers were sick with the flu, so she was out too. I wasn't comfortable enough with Jessica to sleep at her house. There was really only one person I could call, however uncomfortable it might be. I flipped open my phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Alice, it's Bella."

"Hey Bella!" she chirped happily. "What's up?"

"Listen, my Dad got called into work tonight and he said he'd feel better if I slept somewhere else…would you mind if I spent the night at your house? Don't feel obligated, I can stay here if you can't have me," I said quickly. The last thing I wanted was to intrude, especially on the Cullens.

"Of course you can stay with us Bella!" Alice answered instantly. "It would be a pleasure to have you, I've missed our sleepovers!"

"Don't you have to ask your parents?"

"No, they won't mind at all, I promise. They've been wanting me to invite you over for a while, they miss you too. Do you want me to come pick you up?" Alice asked, and her voice was filled with enthusiasm.

"No, no, I can drive myself, but thank you. I'll be there soon," I told her.

"Okay, I'm so excited! Bye Bella!" she squealed.

"Bye." I hung up and turned to Charlie. "I'm staying at Alice's house."

"Okay," Charlie said, his voice relieved. He said a quick goodbye and left. I waited until I heard the door click shut to climb out of bed, grabbing a bag and packing pajamas, an outfit for the next day, and a toothbrush. I had taken a shower earlier and my hair was drying into loose, messy curls. I ran my fingers through it, but there wasn't much I could do to fix it. I sighed, my stomach full of nervous butterflies.

"It's no big deal," I said, talking to my reflection, trying to calm myself. Then I shook my head—I was talking to myself, really? I was going insane. I pulled on my rain coat and ran outside to my car, trying not to get completely soaked. I was nervous the whole way to the Cullens. Edward and I had been getting along fairly well—as well as could be expected. But sometimes it was awkward, when we both remembered. When I thought of his lips on mine, the way his hands felt on my body. It didn't always happen, but it happened enough for it to be uncomfortable.

I pulled into the long drive of the Cullens, taking long, deep breaths. I parked and climbed out of the car, slinging my bag over my back, taking careful steps up to the door. I rang the bell, something I wasn't used to—before I could just walk in, it was always my second home.

"Bella!" Alice squealed, opening the door. "Come on in!"

"Hey, Alice," I greeted, walking inside and kicking off my shoes. Alice peeled my jacket off my back and hung it up in the closet next to the door. "Thank you again for having me."

"No problem Bella it's nice to have you back in the house!"

"I missed it," I told her truthfully. We walked into the familiar kitchen that smelled like delicious baked goods, and saw Esme checking on something in the oven. She stood up and wiped her hands on a paper towel, and finally spotted me. Nervous butterflies fluttered in my stomach and my cheeks flared.

"Bella," she gasped in surprise. She looked at Alice for a moment, questions in her eyes, before turning back to me, a wide smile on her face. "It's so nice to see you! And you're here with…"

"She's going to stay the night with me while Charlie's working," Alice filled in and my cheeks flared red again. I knew her first thought had been that I was here with Edward—which must have been why she was so confused.

"I thought Alice asked you, I'm sorry, I don't want to intrude," I said quickly.

"Oh, nonsense," Esme interjected, waving me off. She walked over to us, quickly engulfing me in a hug. I hugged her back tightly, surprised at how much I had missed Esme's kind face and her warm smile. "You're always welcome here Bella. We've missed you."

"I've missed you too," I mumbled, pulling away. The oven beeped loudly and Esme whirled around to check on her food.

"Let's go to my room, Bella," Alice said.

"Okay. Nice to see you again, Esme."

"You too Bella. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you," I said again as Alice tugged me out of the room and up the stairs to her bedroom on the second floor. I dropped my bag on her bed and stared around her familiar room. Not much had changed in the few weeks I hadn't been around. She had a few more pictures tacked up to the bulletin board but that was all. I'm sure if I looked in the closet, that's where the real difference would be. Alice was constantly updating her wardrobe.

"So Bella," Alice began, plopping down on her bed, crossing her legs underneath her. "It's been a while, huh?"

"Too long," I said apologetically.

"I've heard some things…and I wanted to talk," she said quietly, staring down at her feet. She was acting…shy. Something I had never seen her do before. I felt guilty that she didn't think she could talk to me the way she did before.

"We can talk Alice, I trust you with everything," I promised her instantly and she smiled, looking up and meeting my eyes. "What did you hear?"

"That you were going out with a kid from La Push," she said, biting her lip. "Are you really?"

"No, no, no," I said quickly. "I've been hanging out with my friend from La Push Jacob. But we were never anything. He liked me but…I did something stupid and ruined our friendship. He hasn't talked to me in a while."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Alice said, but it was clear that she was relieved as well. "What stupid thing did you do?"

"I kissed him," I admitted, rolling my eyes. "It was stupid I just wanted to see if…if it felt…" I trailed off—I couldn't articulate what I had been thinking, what I had wanted to feel, and what I didn't. But Alice seemed to understand. She didn't even seem mad that I had kissed him.

"So he was never your boyfriend? And you guys didn't date or anything?" Alice verified and I nodded.

"Jacob's a really good friend but I can't see him as ever being anything more than that," I explained.

"That's good Bella. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I still think you and Edward will get back together." I bit my lip and looked away. I couldn't really agree with her. How could Edward and I ever go back to the way we were? After such a long time, after all the mistakes we both made? It wouldn't work. It would just end the way it did the first time.

"I don't know if that will ever happen Alice," I said tentatively. "We've been through so much already."

"I know Bella, but…" She sighed loudly, frowning, and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I love you and I love Edward. It's hard for me to accept the fact that the two of you might never be together again when I _know___how happy you both were. I guess I just don't understand. You were so happy and so in love. How does that just go away?"

Tears welled up in my eyes and I swallowed, choking them back. I took deep breaths and Alice reached over, taking my hand, her little fingers encasing mine, comforting me and I tried to smile at her, but it came out as more of a grimace. "It doesn't Alice. It doesn't go away. But sometimes it's just not enough." My voice cracked on the last word and I shook my head.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to make you upset. I won't bring it up again," Alice said quickly. I smiled and wiped my eyes.

"No, it's fine. I'm just an emotional wreck," I said, laughing and Alice giggled with me. "How's Jasper?" I asked, wanting to change the subject and to get Alice talking.

"Oh Bella! He's great," she began, instantly launching into a detailed story of all of the sweet things he had done for her in the past few months. I just listened and nodded and gasped at all the right times, but I couldn't help wondering how her and Jasper did it. How they were so happy together all the time. There was no flaw in their relationship—they never seemed to fight. Halfway through Alice telling me a story of how Jasper had taken her on a midnight picnic under the stars, I interrupted.

"But don't you guys ever fight? Aren't there ever any times when you just can't stand him, and you hate how much you love him?" I injected, my voice desperate. Alice stopped mid-sentence and stared up at me.

"Of course Bella," she said, smiling. "We fight all the time. He gets pissed when I take forever getting ready, and when I get moody and when I flirt with other boys. And I hate when he isn't talkative, and I hate when he's tired and I'm hyper, and when I see him talking to other girls, even if it's totally innocent. We have our days Bella. But the good outweighs the bad. It's the nights when he just holds me and kisses me and tells me how much he loves me that makes up for all of the stupid little fights. Love isn't easy Bella—you have to fight for it."

I stared at her, surprised at how easily she admitted all that, and surprised that they fought. Alice and Jasper looked like the perfect couple. They always held hands, and were all smiles and never seemed to run out of things to talk and laugh about. Jasper was always on time and he always complimented her, and loved her more than anything. How could they possibly fight?

"But you guys look so perfect," I stammered, my mind still reeling.

"Nothing's perfect Bella, and trust me, we're far from perfect. We fight, but we love each other, so we work it out. That's just how it goes." She shrugged, unbothered. "Jasper is the most wonderful man I've ever met and I love him, so I'm going to fight through the bad for the good."

"You make it sound so easy," I mumbled, resting my head in my hands and sighing.

"It's not easy, Bella. But our love makes it worth the pain." I stared at her for a moment, her small smile, her easygoing posture. Everything about Alice just screamed easy, fun, simple. I knew Alice had problems just like everyone else, but she knew how to handle it. I envied that about her. She always seemed to know just what to do. I wanted to be able to fix everything the way she could.

Alice let out a big yawn and stretched her arms over her head. "It's getting late, I'm ready to go to bed," she announced. "Need some PJs?" I glanced down at my jeans and nodded gratefully. Alice reached walked into her closet and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a tank top for me to wear.

"Will these fit?" I asked. Alice was a lot shorter then me and she was stick thin.

"They pants are too long for me, and the shirt covers more then I like, so it should fit you fine," she giggled and I thanked her again, quickly changing. The sweats were a good length but the tank top showed more cleavage then I was used to. Alice and I crawled under her blankets and I glanced at the clock—it was nearing midnight. There was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," Alice called.

"Hey, babe," Jasper said softly, opening the door. "I just wanted to—oh, hey Bella." He grinned sheepishly, clearly not expecting me to be there.

"Hi Jasper. Sorry, I didn't mean to…I'll just go get some water," I said quickly. I knew Alice and Jasper always talked before bed. I didn't want to interrupt. It was helpful that they lived together and could see each other before bed. It reminded me of when Edward snuck into my bedroom at night. I got out of bed and passed Jasper, who grinned gratefully at me. I walked to the bathroom down the hall and washed my face to kill time but I wasn't sure how long they needed.

That's when I heard it. At first it was tentative and soft, a few notes, barely audible. And then it got louder, a bit stronger, notes becoming melodies. I followed the noises up the stairs as they started and stopped abruptly. I could tell he was frustrated by the random harshness, the sudden cacophony of notes when he slammed his hands down in frustration on the keys. I stopped in his doorway, watching him, listening.

He was hunched over his piano, his copper hair mussed and messy. His green eyes were abnormally dark as he struggled to find the right notes, the right song. He was just wearing sweatpants and no shirt, and I could see his muscles flex as he played. Finally he let out a loud sigh and shoved away from the piano.

"Don't stop," I whispered, and he whirled around, spotting me for the first time. His eyes widened and his mouth opened and then closed. I blushed bright red, realizing my slip up—he knew I was watching him.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, his voice hoarse.

"My dad had to work overnight, so I came to sleepover with Alice. I was going to the bathroom and I heard you…" I trailed off, waving a hand in front of me, trying to explain how I ended up outside of his bedroom door. "But please, keep playing."

"Why? It sucked. I can't play for shit anymore," he said, running his hands through his hair angrily.

"Sure you can." I walked in, and he scooted over on the piano bench, allowing me to sit next to him. I pressed my fingers tentatively to the keys, barely making any soft noises, trying to play. "Remember when you tried to teach me to play?" I asked, my fingers ghosting along the keys, trying to remember which ones I was supposed to push in which order. Edward chuckled.

"Yeah, I do. You were terrible." I giggled too, playing the first few notes of the only song he had ever managed to teach me. "But you made me keep going until you could play one song."

"My song," I whispered. I messed up a key, and started over, trying to remember the keys from memory. When I had been learning, Edward had taped the letters and numbers of each key on them so I would remember which was which. I couldn't remember anymore. I tried again, hitting the first few notes before messing up again. Edward laughed.

"Come on Bella we worked forever on this stupid thing. Surely you remember it?" Edward teased.

"I'm just a little rusty," I said, smiling. I had the first bar down but couldn't remember what came next. I struggled for a moment before Edward's big, soft hands rested on top of mine.

"Like this," he whispered, his lips right by my ear. He pressed on my fingers, hitting the keys with me, his hands warm and strong. He moved my hands along the keys, helping me press the notes, until we were playing a slow, quiet version of my lullaby. It was the only sound in the room and I hummed along, the notes coming back to me easier with Edward's touch. It didn't sound nearly as perfect as it did when Edward played it, but it sounded nice. Familiar. As we hit the last lingering note, I pulled my hands away.

"You play," I told him, folding my hands on my lap. His eyes darted down, glancing at my hands, and then slowly rising, examining the tight fitting tank top and my obvious cleavage, making me shiver as his eyes met mine, a smirk on his face. "Play," I whispered again, a gentle command.

And he did. Just like before, he started off tentative and slow, but soon he was building up the sounds into rhythms and a song, and my lullaby was playing, soft and beautiful from the piano. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning against him, remembering all the times I had heard him play this, the millions of times I had listened to it on repeat on a CD he had given me. If anything described our relationship it was this song. It was smooth, soft and beautiful, but it was rough at points, it went up and down, sometimes the sound changing so quickly it left you breathless.

I just sat with Edward, listening to him play until I fell asleep. He must have carried me into bed, because when I woke up I was tangled in his arms, my face nuzzled in his warm chest, his arms wrapped around me, holding me close to him. I stared up at his face, peaceful in sleep, and kissed the tip of his nose, wishing things could have been different for us all along. And then I closed my eyes and fell asleep, and it was the best night of sleep I had ever had.

**A/N: I am so unbelievably sorry this took me so long to update. I'm going to try and update much quicker next time, but I can't make any promises. I have a whole new group of friends in another state, I'm playing varsity basketball, I have school and I have a new boyfriend, so I'm very, very busy, and I barely have time. I know that's no excuse, and I hope you guys enjoy this, and I'll try and get another chapter up as soon as I can. I love you all, and all of the support you have for me. Thank you, please REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: So I am not dead! I am just a horrible, horrible updater. Clearly. I'm going to attempt to update a hell of a lot faster this time because I realize that it took me FOREVER to update. I'm not even going to give excuses because they all suck. So I hope you enjoy the chapter, and I hope to get the next one up by (dare I say it) next weekend? I hope so. I literally love you guys so much for sticking with this story. Enjoy!**

**BPOV**

"Bella. Bella, wake up." I sighed and snuggled closer to the warm mass next to me, wrapping my arms more snugly around it. It was so soft, so smooth, and it smelled _so _good. I didn't want to wake up. "Come on Bella, my mom will flip her shit if she wakes up and you're in my bed." My sleep-addled brain tried to work out where I was and what was happening as I slowly began to wake up. I recognized the voice—a male voice. I shot up, hitting something hard with the top of my head.

"Ow!" I yelled, clapping my hand over the spot I had hit. Edward, next to me, was rubbing his chin, a grimace on his face.

"Good morning to you too," he grumbled. I stared at him for a moment, trying to remember how I ended up in his bed. I couldn't help but notice how his hair stuck up at every angle, and how his chin was stubbly. And not to mention the way he looked without his shirt. I couldn't help but smile, and his lopsided grin greeted mine.

"Why am I in your bed?" I asked.

"You fell asleep listening to me play, so I thought it was better to just let you sleep here then to interrupt Alice and Jasper," he explained and I nodded. I leaned back against the wall and stared up at Edward. An awkward silence filled the air as I thought of something to say. Edward and I were still working on friends—and sleeping together was something we did when we were dating. It muddled the already confusing lines between our new friendship and our old relationship.

"You talked in your sleep," Edward said after a moment. "I forgot how much you talk at night."

My face instantly flamed red. I couldn't remember my dream from the night before but I was sure, due to Edward's scent and warmth being all around me, it had been about him. "What did I say?" I asked.

"Not much," he said softly. "You mentioned Alice and Jasper. And Jacob." His voice turned venomous as he spoke Jacob's name. "And me." His voice became soft, and a small smile graced his face.

"I'm sorry," I apologized instantly.

"Don't be. I liked it. I missed hearing you say my name like that…" He trailed off, and another awkward silence filled the room. I remembered the countless nights Edward and I had spent like this and I was sure he was remembering the same.

"Um, I should probably go back to Alice's room," I said, pushing the blankets off my body. My cheeks were turning red quickly, and I was desperately trying to escape the awkwardness of the situation. I felt like Edward and I kept blurring the lines between our friendship. Sometimes it was easy to forget that we had broken up, that we weren't a couple anymore. We would slip up—he would call me love or I would reach for his hand before realizing our mistakes.

"Yeah," Edward agreed, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. I tried to think of something to say as I climbed out of his bed. I wanted to thank him for taking care of me during the night, for letting me sleep next to him. But then again, I wanted to hit him for making everything even more confusing. It was too hard for me to figure out, so I just gave him a weak smile and left, tip-toeing back to Alice's room and trying to sneak in without waking her.

But luck wasn't on my side—Alice was sitting up, wide-awake, a smirk on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. I gave her a sheepish smile. "Hi," I said, praying she wouldn't say anything, but knowing she would.

"Where'd you sleep last night, missy?" she demanded, but I could tell from her smile she already knew the answer.

"Edward's room," I mumbled quietly.

"Where?" Alice asked, her smile growing wider. I glared at her. I knew she heard me; she just liked making me say it.

"Edward's room," I repeated louder.

"And what, may I ask, where you doing in Edward's room?"

"Sleeping."

"And?" Alice demanded.

"And nothing." I was determined to quell her questions, but Alice was unstoppable. I pulled my sweatshirt on from the night before, and Alice patted the bed next to her. I sat down, pulling a pillow into my lap and fiddling with a loose thread on her blanket.

"How did you end up in Edward's room in the first place?" she asked once I was settled.

"I heard him playing when I left here," I admitted. "So I went to listen. And he caught me watching, so I went in, and he played for me and I fell asleep. So he just let me sleep in his room so we wouldn't bother you and Jasper."

"Aw," Alice cooed, placing a hand over her heart like it was the sweetest thing. I rolled my eyes, my cheeks flaming red. "So you guys cuddled all night? That's so cute!"

"It didn't mean anything," I murmured, but I knew that wasn't true. Of course it meant something. With me and Edward, it always did.

"Sure it didn't," Alice said sarcastically, clearly not believing a word I said. "Did you guys kiss?" She sang the word.

"No." I didn't tell her that I kissed his nose—after all I had been groggy with sleep and he had looked so peaceful. Alice pouted.

"But you were cuddling? Like arms and legs tangled type of cuddling right? And facing each other?" she demanded.

"Right." My whole face was red now, and I placed my cold hands on my cheeks to try and cool it down.

"Good. It's a step at least. How was waking up this morning?" she continued.

"Awkward."

"It'll get easier," she promised.

"This isn't going to become a regular thing, Alice," I told her. "It just happened."

Alice pouted again. "Just tell me one more thing Bella," she began, a smile appearing on her face. "Did you like it?"

I thought of the way I felt wrapped in Edward's arm, the wonderful sleep I had gotten, the feel of his skin on mine and the delicious way he smelled. It was so familiar and so new at the same time. "Yes," I finally said, a small smile creeping onto my own face.

"That's all I need to know." Alice grinned widely, and I could tell she was enthused by my answer. "Now let's go get some breakfast!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm and followed her out of her bedroom and downstairs, where Esme was making breakfast. Everyone else was already downstairs. Carlisle was sitting at the table reading the newspaper and Emmett was standing by the counter, stealing bites of food when Esme wasn't looking. Rosalie and Jasper were sitting at the kitchen island in high stools, drinking juice. Edward was the only one at the table with Carlisle, and he seemed lost in thought.

"Hi everyone!" Alice chirped, announcing our entrance. Various greetings were yelled back as Alice went to lean on the kitchen island next to Jasper, kissing his cheek lightly. It took everyone a moment to notice I was there, since I followed behind Alice silently and tentatively. Emmett was the first to notice.

"Bella? What the hell are you doing here?" he asked through a mouthful of bacon that he had just stolen off the counter.

"I slept over," I answered, giggling. He chewed and swallowed before giving me a huge grin and running over to give me a big bear hug.

"Nice to see you here again," he boomed, and I gasped for breath, pushing him away until he finally put me back down, letting me breathe. Everyone had turned towards us during this exchange. Rosalie was glaring, Esme waved, Carlisle grinned and Edward just stared.

"Good morning Bella," Carlisle said kindly from behind his newspaper. "Help yourself to anything."

"Thanks." I grabbed a glass and some orange juice from the counter, where Esme had laid them out. I knew breakfasts weren't always like this for the Cullens—normally they ate cereal or grabbed something quick before school—but Sunday morning breakfasts were always a big deal. Esme always cooked pancakes, waffles, bacon, eggs, toast and sausage and served them up to her family. I used to come over every Sunday when Edward and I were dating.

I glanced around trying to find a place to sit. Emmett was already back to scavenging for food, and Rosalie was giving me a death glare that plainly told me not to sit anywhere near the kitchen island. So I ended up taking a seat beside Edward at the table. He gave me a knowing half smile, like we were sharing a little secret, and I returned it, even though it was still somewhat awkward.

"Emmett, save some for the rest of the family," Esme scolded, finally catching Emmett as he stole a pancake off the stack and tried to shove it into his mouth whole. Everyone laughed as Emmett nearly choked, and Rosalie smacked him on the back to help it go down. He chuckled along with the rest of us once his airway was clean.

"Sorry, Esme." He stood next to Rosalie, wrapping an arm around her and watching Esme prepare the rest of the food.

"Did you sleep well, Bella?" Carlisle asked, folding his newspaper up and placing it on the table. I tried to stop the blush that was threatening to climb up my face.

"Very well, thanks," I said after a moment, unable to stop my eyes from peeking sideways at Edward. He was smirking in a satisfied way. I pinched his leg under the table, and he jumped, giving me a dirty look. I just giggled and shook my head slightly, trying to tell him not to give us away.

"That's good," Carlisle said in a bemused sort of way, and I knew he had caught our little exchange. He hid his face by picking up the newspaper again, but not before I saw him smile.

"Breakfast's ready!" Esme announced, and everyone ran to the table. Alice sat next to me, and Esme sat on the end next to her. Jasper was to Esme's left and Emmett and Rosalie were next to him. Everyone was seated by couple, and it felt like nothing had really changed.

The plates of food were passed around the table, and everyone helped themselves. Everything looked delicious and I stood slightly, reaching for a pitcher of juice, when suddenly my legs were on fire. I let out a yelp and looked down to see a coffee pot overturned on my legs. I stood straight, and it fell to the floor with a clatter.

"Oops," Rosalie said, and I realized she had been the one reaching for it. I could tell by the look in her eyes she had done it on purpose, and at that moment I hated her more than anything.

"Bella!" Edward gasped, jumping up. His face was filled with an intense concern I hadn't seen in months. I was whimpering as the hot coffee burnt my thighs.

"Get her to my office, Edward," Carlisle instructed, and he jumped out of his chair as well. I started to walk, but it rubbed the hot fabric further against my skin. I let out a gasp of pain. Edward reached over, muttering a swear, and scooped me easily into his arms. My next gasp was one of surprise as the ground was suddenly gone, and I wrapped my arms around his neck for balance.

"Get her something else to wear, Alice," Edward demanded, already running for the stairs. He brought me into Carlisle's office and sat me on his desk, where Carlisle had cleared a space for me. Edward laced his fingers through mine, that burning look still on his face. It was a look of concern and care—one I always used to associate with love. But it wasn't love anymore. He was only worried.

"Edward, why don't you wait outside," Carlisle said, and Edward seemed to realize what he was doing. He dropped my hand and muttered an apology. The burning look left his eyes and he left, his cheeks flushed with color, something that rarely happened to him.

Once Edward was safely outside, Carlisle peeled off the sticky sweatpants. I was glad I was wearing plain boy short underwear, and nothing sexy. It was embarrassing enough that Carlisle had to see me in my underwear, it would be much worse if I was wearing something lacy and revealing. He tsk-ed as he examined my legs.

"It's not bad, just some mild burns," he informed me with a smile. "Some aloe and ice should help. It'll be gone in a few days."

"Thanks, Carlisle," I sighed as he handed me a bottle of aloe. I squeezed some out and rubbed it onto the burns.

"No problem Bella."

"How's it been Carlisle?" I asked after a moment of silence. We were waiting for Alice to bring me something new to wear. "Since we broke up, I mean. How's he been?" I didn't know what made me ask it. But for some reason, I knew Carlisle would be truly honest with me. He looked up at me with mild interest for a moment before sighing.

"Not bad recently. It was…hard for him at first. We could see him slipping into his old habits and we didn't know what to do," Carlisle explained, sitting down behind his desk. He was staring at the wall, obviously lost in thought. "But it's been better since you two have become friends again. He skips less, he comes home earlier, and he doesn't reek of alcohol when he does. I think we all took for granted how good you were for him Bella. Even him."

I stared at Carlisle, silent, willing myself not to cry. I knew Edward had been skipping school but I didn't realize he had gone back to his partying ways. I had thought he might, but hearing it from Carlisle confirmed my fears. "I'm sorry," I apologized after a minute.

Carlisle smiled up at me. "It's not your fault. Edward's a good kid, he really is. And I think he sees now that he can't party forever. You've helped him see that Bella, and I'll always be grateful for that. No matter what may happen between the two of you, I think you've made him a better person."

Carlisle's praise brought unexpected tears to my eyes. "Thank you," I murmured.

Alice came in then with a pair of Edward's shorts in her hands. "I figured these would hurt the least, since they won't rub up against the burns."

"Thanks Alice," I said gratefully, hurrying to pull them on. They were too big, so I had to roll them a few times, but they didn't brush up against the burns much. And they smelled like Edward. "You're the greatest."

"I sure am!" Alice giggled. "By the way, I'll beat Rose up later for that. It was _so_ on purpose. But I don't care because Edward got to be your knight in shining armor and save the day and all. So it worked out in the end."

I rolled my eyes at Alice as Carlisle's laughter joined hers and we all left the office together. To my surprise, Edward was still waiting outside. I blushed red, wondering if he had heard my conversations with Carlisle and Alice.

"Hey," he said softly, and I noticed Alice and Carlisle keep walking, leaving the two of us alone.

"Hi," I answered.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine. They're not serious," I told him, touched by his concern.

"Okay, good. I'm glad you're okay," he said, smiling my favorite crooked smile. "And I see you stole my shorts," he teased lightly.

"Alice stole your shorts actually. I'm just wearing them. I'll bring them back."

"I don't mind." We stood together, kind of awkwardly. Edward was watching me, his eyes boring into mine, and I could feel a spark of our old electricity filling the air. I shivered lightly, and I noticed Edward take half a step closer.

"I'd better go home," I burst suddenly, taking a step backwards. Edward blinked twice, and shook his head.

"Yeah," he agreed.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Bella." He smiled, but it wasn't my smile. It was a half, kind of sad, smile.

"Bye." We locked eyes for a moment, but I turned and left before I could get caught in his trance. I said my goodbyes to the Cullens and drove home, my mind on a million things. Charlie was sitting in the kitchen eating scrambled eggs when I walked in.

"Hey Bells," he greeted when I walked in.

"Hey," I answered, walking into the kitchen and pouring myself a glass of water and grabbing an ice pack for my burns.

"What are you wearing?" he demanded, and I realized how I must have looked in Edward's shorts. I bit back a smile.

"I kind of spilled coffee on my sweatpants. I burnt my legs so Alice got me these so they wouldn't brush on the burns," I informed him and he rolled his eyes, used to my clumsiness.

"Well, did you have a good time other than that?" he asked. I thought of the piano, sleeping in Edward's room, the burning look on his face when he saw I was hurt. The way he cared. I smiled, unable to hold it back this time.

"Yeah," I said quietly after a moment. "Yeah I did."

**A/N: So review please, I hope you liked it, because I just banged it out in like an hour because I finally felt like writing fanfics again. So hopefully this mood will stick and I'll be able to keep writing :) Thanks for the amazing support, REVIEW!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Quick update, right? I'm proud of myself. AND I even have the next chapter already written, and part of the chapter after that. So, enjoy please :)**

**BPOV**

The school week passed surprisingly quickly. I enjoyed being able to talk to Edward in school again, for us to be able to talk and laugh together again. We got many confused looks from our peers, who all probably assumed we were going back out, but neither of us were bothered. It was amazing having Edward as a friend again. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him until he was fully back in my life.

Friday night came and Alice invited me to her house to watch a movie and hang out. I dressed comfortably in jeans and a t-shirt, and drove to the Cullens, ready for a relaxing night in. The driveway was empty when I came in, which was surprising—usually Carlisle parked outside after work. Maybe he hadn't gotten home yet. I shrugged and walked up to the house, knocking on the door.

"Bella!" Alice chirped, tossing the door open. I was surprised to see her dressed up in a pair of skinny jeans and a shimmering tank top, her hair and make-up done perfectly. I could hear music and I saw Rosalie was dancing around the living room, also dressed up, but in a mini-skirt and long sleeve button-up shirt, with quite a few buttons undone. Emmett was sitting on the couch, watching her and laughing, and Jasper was in the kitchen making something in the blender.

"Oh no," I said instantly, backing up. "No, no, no."

"Oh yes, yes, yes," Alice replied, grabbing my arm and yanking me inside.

"I refuse Alice! You're not forcing me to another Cullen party!"

Alice threw the best parties in town and everyone knew it. Whenever Carlisle and Esme were away, Alice took over and set the house up for a weekend of fun. She always managed to secure drinks and music, and she managed to keep everyone under control, at least enough that they didn't break anything. And she cleaned everything up perfectly before her parents got home on Sunday.

Everyone else looked forward to them but I dreaded them. A bunch of crazy, drunk, dancing kids all packed into the Cullens house, dancing to the type of music I wasn't a big fan of.

No thank you.

I tried to make another escape but this time Emmett grabbed me, tossing me carelessly over his shoulder. I shrieked and pounded my fists on his back. He didn't even seem to feel it. "Emmett, put me down! You guys can't make me do this!"

"Sure we can," Emmett laughed. "What do you think we're doing right now?"

He brought me into Alice's room and dropped me onto the bed. I tried to get to my feet and make a break for it, but Jasper was already standing guard by the door. Alice shoved me onto the chair in front of her vanity mirror and smiled innocently at me.

"You are the worst friend ever," I grumbled, folding my arms over my chest. Alice squealed, realizing I had given in—there was no escaping their crazy family—and tossed an outfit at me.

"I love you too Bella! Now go get changed!" she commanded, shoving me towards the bathroom. I sighed in defeat and changed out of my plain outfit into the one Alice had picked for me. It was a pair of skinny jeans that were so tight it took me a good five minutes to pull them on. For the top, she had given me a royal blue, low cut blouse, that hugged my chest much too tightly. I looked in the mirror—the clothes looked amazing, like everything Alice picked out. And they weren't _so _over the top.

I went back into Alice's bedroom and she pushed me down in the chair again. Jasper was still standing guard at the door, so I knew Alice didn't entirely trust me not to run for it yet. She quickly pulled my hair out of its elastic and started to work something into it and brush it through. When she was done, it came out in tousled waves that actually looked really pretty. She did my make-up next, and I was glad she kept it light, just natural colors that brought out my eyes.

"Normally I'd do more," she told me as she smeared lip gloss on my lips. "But everyone's coming soon and I need to get downstairs to prepare."

That sounded good. Maybe I could escape while Alice mingled with her guests.

"And since I knew you would try and get away, I enlisted Edward to keep you here," she added sweetly. As if on cue, Edward entered the room wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He grinned guiltily at me.

"Sorry Bella but she's paying me well," he said, shrugging. I gave him a dirty look, but he just laughed, seeing right through me. Honestly, if I got to spend the night with Edward, it didn't seem so bad. Maybe I could even convince him to sneak up to his room at some point so we could escape the crowd.

"Traitor," I mumbled, and he chuckled again.

"You look great though," he added, flashing me his crooked smile. I shivered lightly.

"Flattery won't help your case, mister," I teased.

"Well, Edward, she's done. And you're in charge of her for the night; make sure she doesn't run for it, okay? Oh! And you can sleep here, so be sure to have yourself a few drinks, since you're not driving," Alice said in a rush. The doorbell rang and she jumped up, all flustered. "They're here! Let's go!"

Alice grabbed Jasper and led him downstairs, leaving Edward and I alone in her room. "There's no escaping it, is there?" I asked Edward with a sigh. He laughed.

"Alice gets what Alice wants," he said, shrugging. "Let's go downstairs before she rips my head off."

"Let's get this over with," I grumbled, and Edward chuckled, opening the door and letting me step out first. Once we were both out he shut the door of Alice's room and hurried in front of me so he could lead the way downstairs. I could already hear music playing much too loudly, and the sound of laughter and chatter.

Edward led me straight to the kitchen, grabbing my hand so we wouldn't get separated in the crowd. Honestly, I was surprised there even_ was_ a crowd. Alice's parties were legendary, but I didn't even think that many people lived in Forks, let alone went to high school. But the house was packed, and Alice was in the center of it all, looking ecstatic.

"Want a drink?" Edward asked. I noticed Jasper was sitting on the kitchen counter, watching the people come in and out, making sure nothing but the drinks were being touched, and making sure nothing was slipped into any of the drinks. A few years back there had been a party where the date-rape drug had been slipped into the punch—Alice was always careful after hearing that story.

"Sure," I said, and Edward dropped my hand to pour us drinks. I waved to Jasper before taking a seat on the counter. I noticed Edward put a lot more alcohol in his own drink than in mine. I gave him a look and he raised his eyebrows challengingly, taking a big gulp of his drink. I sighed and shook my head. I didn't like it when he drank, but then again, I couldn't really say anything. I was drinking as well, so he could just call me a hypocrite. He handed me my drink and I took a sip, tasting the bitter liquor on my tongue. I scrunched my nose and Edward chuckled lightly.

"How's it taste?" he asked teasingly and I stuck my tongue out at him. He was standing close to me, his arms on either side of the counter where I sat. I backed up infinitesimally.

"Yummy," I said sarcastically, taking another small sip. Edward snickered at the look on my face. With a challenging look in his eyes, he tossed the rest of his cup down, barely flinching. He reached to pour himself another, and I placed a hand on his arm.

"Save some for the rest of us," I teased, but I truly didn't want him drinking that quickly. I knew how easily he could lose control. Edward's eyes darkened for a brief second, but then he smiled.

"There's plenty for everyone." His voice was determined as he reached for the bottle again, refilling his cup almost three quarters of the way before pouring some Coke on top and swirling it together. He stirred it up and took a sip. I stared at the floor, knowing he was doing it to get a rise out of me. I simply smiled sweetly back at him.

"Bella! Edward!" Alice's high pitched voice broke me and Edward out of our mini-showdown and we both turned to see her standing in the doorway, her hands on her hips. "Go dance! Or mingle! Or something! Edward I didn't pay you to hide Bella in the kitchen all night!"

"Sorry Alice," we apologized simultaneously, and then we both broke into giggles. Alice just shook her head.

"If you two aren't out there in two minutes, you'll have to come dance with me Bella," she threatened. I quickly jumped off the counter and grabbed Edward's hands.

"Hurry!" I told him, knowing Alice was serious. And if I had to dance with her—well it would be more of a dirty work out than anything else.

"Wait," Edward said, grabbing my arms. "Finish your drink first, or else I'll just dump it. Never leave a drink unattended," he reminded me.

"Fine," I agreed. I grabbed my cup and he picked up his. "To Alice," I toasted, making a face at her before tapping my red, plastic cup against his.

"To us," he added, raising his eyebrows suggestively, and then we both drank. Edward was able to chug his drink much quicker than I was, but I managed after a minute or so. I shuddered at the feel of the alcohol as it warmed my stomach. I could feel the affects already taking place, and I saw Alice heading back towards the kitchen, ready to make good on her threat. So I dragged Edward back into the living room where everyone was dancing and grinding and put my arms around his neck, keeping myself a safe distance away. Edward placed his hands on my hips and I felt him pull me a tiny bit closer.

We started dancing, just moving back and forth, barely touching. But as the alcohol started to work its evil ways, Edward's hands started roaming and I didn't stop them. I stepped closer, tightening my arms around him, playing with the edges of his hair. My eyes locked with his and I couldn't escape his gaze. I could barely hear the pounding music—all I could hear was the rush of blood in my ears and the pounding of my heart. Edward's face dipped closer to mine, his lips brushing against my cheek before moving towards my lips. My heart fluttered as Edward leaned forward and I wondered if I was ready for this. Was it really worth it? To go back to him after everything that we had been through? Edward's lips were nearly on mine when he glanced behind him. I watched as his eyes widened and then narrowed.

"I think you have a visitor," he hissed, and then he dropped his arms away from me and stormed off. I stared after his retreating body, shell shocked, my mouth wide open in surprise.

"Bella?" a voice said behind me, and my mouth dropped even wider as I heard the unexpected voice.

"Jacob?" I gasped, whirling around. Of course it was Jacob, looking out of place, standing a head taller than most of the people in the crowd. "What are you doing here?"

"I called your house and Charlie told me where you were," he admitted, sounding uncomfortable. "I didn't realize it was a party. I wanted to talk to you. Can we go somewhere quieter?"

"Of course," I agreed instantly. I glanced around for Edward again, but didn't see it. Obviously there was some misunderstanding. Jacob was harmless, Edward had to know that. Okay, yeah we did kiss once. And I did sort of lead Edward to believe we were dating. But still, why should he care? I wasn't his girlfriend anymore. I wasn't anyone's girlfriend anymore.

I sighed and shook my head. I grabbed Jacob's hand and led him out to the backyard, where there were barely any people sitting on the dimly lit deck. We both sat down in two lounge chairs, and the sudden silence was nearly deafening as I waited for Jacob to tell me what he had come here for. After a moment of silence, I decided to speak up.

"What are you doing here? I mean, why did you suddenly decide to come see me after avoiding me for so long?" I asked him, my voice coming out louder than I meant it to.

"I just wanted to apologize," he mumbled, and he seemed glad I had started the conversation. "I know I've been a jerk, and I've missed being your friend. I know that you…want different things than me, and that's okay. I'm okay with just being your friend."

"Oh Jake," I sighed, and I tossed my arms around him, hugging him tightly. He wrapped his big arms around me, totally engulfing me in his huge form. "Thanks. I'm sorry I led you on and kissed you like that. I'm sorry I never wanted to be anything more than friends. I really like you Jacob, but just not in that way."

"I understand," he muttered, and he kissed the top of my hair. "Actually, the reason I finally came to realize this is…I met someone."

I pulled out of his arms, staring up at his face in shock. He had a wide, but sheepish smile on his face. "Seriously?" I demanded.

"Seriously."

"What's her name?"

"Carlie. Well, it's really Renesmee, but she hates that name, so she goes by her middle name. Carlie." He smiled whenever he said her name, even her abnormal first name. "She's great Bella; I can't wait for you to meet her. And now that I met her…I guess I understand why we can only be friends. And I accept it." Jacob looked so happy, that a huge grin spread across my own face in response. I wrapped my arms around him for another hug.

"I'm so happy for you Jacob," I told him truthfully. I mean, Jacob finding someone made life so much easier. He wouldn't be hurting from being my friend anymore. It would only be a good thing. The thought of finally being able to be just friends, but best friends with Jacob warmed me from the inside out.

"Thanks, I'm really happy too." He kept his arms around me as we spoke, in a comfortable embrace. Before it would have been uncomfortable or awkward, but now that the boundaries were sure and set, it just felt nice.

"So tell me all about her," I commanded him.

"Later, Bells. You have a party to get back to after all. And I promised Carlie I'd stop by after I talked to you," he said, the sheepish smile spreading across his face again.

"Well don't keep her waiting then!" I said quickly, and shoved him off of me playfully. He laughed and stood, helping me to my feet as well. He quickly wrapped his arms around me again, lifting my feet off the ground and crushing my lungs. "Can't breathe!" I gasped and Jacob just chuckled before placing me back down on my feet.

"Thanks Bella. We'll have to hang out soon. I can introduce you to Carlie," Jacob offered, seeming excited at the idea.

"Of course, Jake. Just call me. Anytime, okay?"

"'Kay. See you later Bells."

"Bye Jacob." He lifted one big hand in a final wave and walked back into the house to leave. I sighed and leaned against the house, staring into the forest that was their backyard. My head was spinning slightly, and I wanted to find Edward again. I missed his company more than I'd like to admit, and I wanted to tell him about Jacob's new girlfriend. Just…so he would know.

"Did your boyfriend leave, Bella?" an angry voice asked from next to me. I recognized it instantly. It was Edward, but it wasn't his normal voice. He was drunk. Very, very drunk.

"Edward," I said gently, turning to face him. I was surprised to see he wasn't alone. There were two other boys and a girl behind him, people I was shocked to realize I didn't recognize. They definitely didn't go to Forks High. "It's not like that."

Edward snorted out a fake laugh. "Sure it isn't Bella. Whatever. After all, I shouldn't care anymore, right? You did _dump _me after all." He stumbled closer to me and I took a step back. I knew Edward wouldn't hurt me—not physically at least. But I was afraid of what he would say. The way he hissed the word dump at me was enough to cause a painful stab to my chest.

"Edward," I tried again, but he cut me off.

"No Bella. Don't try and explain this all away. I saw you with him! Hugging and touching like you're so damn in love. It's disgusting," his words were becoming slurred and he grabbed a random drink of the outdoor table and took a big gulp.

"Edward you need to stop drinking," I said firmly, loudly, trying to ignore our audience. "Why don't I take you upstairs so you can rest?"

"No Bella! You're not the boss of me anymore. You don't get to tell me to be a good little boy all the time. I'll do whatever the hell I want with whoever the hell I want! Just like you do." He glared at me as he finished off the random drink and I felt tears stinging my eyes. I blinked them back.

"Edward, you're really drunk. Please, stop," I begged him and he just shook his head.

"I'm getting the hell out of here Bella. I can't stand to be around you anymore and watch you go along so happy when I'm fucking miserable! I'm miserable, Bella, without you." His voice cracked. "Let's go guys," he mumbled to the people behind him.

"Edward do you even know them? You can't leave," I said, reaching out to grab his arm. He jerked away from me.

"I'm James," the blond boy said, stepping towards me with a devilish grin. "That's Victoria and Laurent. Now you know us. Goodbye, Bella."

And with that he turned and walked away, his two friends trailing behind him. Edward hesitated for barely a second, staring at my horror-struck face, before his eyes darkened to almost black and he whirled around. I ran after him.

"Don't Edward! Please, you could get in trouble!" I called. He paused and turned to look at me again.

"Stop it Bella," he said, and his voice was saturated with pain. "Don't act like you care about me."

He turned again, without looking back, and followed the other three out to their car. I watched helplessly as he drove away, feeling my heart break all over again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Another pretty quick update, yay! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and the next one should be up next weekend, it's already written, and I'm working on the chapter after that, which will probably be the last or second to last chapter. So, this story should wind up being about 15 or 16 chapters. Enjoy!**

**BPOV**

"Alice, I'm worried about him," I said, glancing at the clock. It was nearing one in the morning, and almost everyone had left. Alice was walking around picking up empty cups and tossing them into an oversized trash bag. Alice had stopped drinking at around eleven, so she was nearly all sobered up.

"He's fine, Bella. I know James and his friends. They aren't the best group of people but they're not dangerous," Alice told me soothingly, trying to calm me. I bit my lip and redialed Edward's number on my cell phone. It rang twice, then went to voicemail.

"He's still ignoring my calls," I grumbled.

"He's just upset. He'll come back and he'll apologize once he's sobered up," Alice explained, and I had the feeling this wasn't the first time Edward had run off into all hours of the morning. "Listen, Bella, your exhausted. Go upstairs and get some sleep."

"I can help," I offered, picking up a few cups and handing them to her.

"It's fine, Bella, I'll end up picking it all up tomorrow anyways. Just go rest," she commanded, and I was too tired to resist her anymore.

"You're the greatest, Alice," I told her gratefully, heading for the stairs.

"I know," Alice sang, grabbing a plate off the ground and shoving it in the bag. I walked upstairs and instead of heading for Alice's room, I went into Edward's room. It smelled just like him, and I sighed. I missed him, as much as I didn't want to admit it. I had told Alice right away that he left and who he left with, but she wasn't worried, so I tried not to be. But the hours ticked by and Edward still hadn't returned. I just wanted to hear his voice, to explain to him that nothing was going on between me and Jacob.

I was too tired to search through Alice's room for pajamas, so I opened Edward's drawers at random, pulling out a pair of his boxers (green ones with little candy canes on them, which made me laugh) and a sweatshirt. I changed, and pulled my hair up on the top of my head in a messy bun. I crawled into Edward's bed and the smell of him was enough to soothe me to sleep.

What seemed like seconds later I was awakened by a shrill ringing. My eyes jumped open and I sat up, groggy and disoriented, trying to figure out where I was. I registered that I wasn't in my own bed or my own clothes, and I started to panic, before realizing that I was in Edward's room, alone. I then realized it was my cell phone that was ringing. I quickly grabbed it, noticing the time said it was half past three in the morning.

"Hello?" I answered, my voice still husky with sleep.

"Bella?" The voice that answered back broke my heart. It was so sad, so heartbroken and weak that it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

"Edward?"

"Yeah," he said, and it sounded almost like he was crying.

"Where are you? Are you okay?" I demanded. I was feeling much more awake as worry for Edward creeped in on me. "What's wrong?"

"I need you to come get me," he whimpered, and I began breathing heavily. He sounded hurt, and all I could think of was that I let him leave.

"Where are you? Are you hurt?" I asked, my voice shrill.

"I'm in Port Angeles," he mumbled, and I realized his voice was a slur. He was drunk still. "I'm fine. I'm just sick."

"God, Edward, you've had me so worried," I gasped into the phone. Relief spread over me when he said he was fine, but I was still panicked. He was so far away, and what did he mean by sick? "How are you sick?"

"Too much to drink," he said. "I'm so sorry, Bella. Please come get me."

"I'm on my way." I tossed the blankets off my body and ran downstairs, searching for my shoes and my car keys. I grabbed a pen out of a drawer in the kitchen. "What's the exact address?"

He told me and I jotted it down on the back of my hand. "I'll be there soon, okay? Just stay put."

"I will. Thank you Bella." His voice was so sincere, so saturated with care and love and hurt that I had to wipe unshed tears from my eyes.

"You're welcome," I whispered, but he had already hung up.

I finally found my keys and slid on my sneakers before running out to my truck. It started with a loud grumble and I flipped around in the long driveway. I pushed my truck to its sixty mile per hour limit the whole way there, and the roads were empty since it was so late. The whole time I was worrying about Edward. I prayed that he would stay where he was so I wouldn't have to search for him.

When I got to Port Angeles I slowed my car down, looking at the street signs for the name he had given me. I got creeped out when I started passing bars with drunk men lumbering around outside. I heard a few whistles as my car rumbled by and I shivered. I finally found the street and turned onto it, but it was dimly lit so I couldn't see the numbers.

I pulled over and grabbed my phone, dialing Edward's number. "Pick up, pick up, pick up," I said as it rang, the sound echoing in the silent car.

"'Lo?" Edward answered, his voice tired and weak.

"Edward I'm on the street but I can't see the numbers. Can you come outside so I can get you?" I asked, keeping my voice clear and calm.

"Yeah," he gasped, and hung up again. I waited, watching the doors of all the buildings around me until finally one opened, and Edward stumbled out. I drove over to him, realizing how bad he truly looked. He fell down the last step and sprawled across the sidewalk, unmoving.

"Edward!" I shrieked. I parked the car and jumped out, running to grab him. He was a mess. He had a black eye and was groaning, but he was alive. "Edward, listen. I need you to stand up and walk over to the car, okay? Please, Edward."

Edward lifted his head tiredly off the sidewalk. "Bella," he murmured.

"Come on Edward," I said in my most soothing voice, trying not to let my panic show. I hoisted him under his arm and he took the hint, stumbling to his feet. I kept my arms wrapped around him, trying to support him as we hobbled back to the car. He nearly knocked us both over a few times, but I somehow managed to get him into the passenger seat and buckled. I climbed back in.

"God, Edward, you look awful." He was even paler than usual and he looked nearly green. I placed a hand on his cheek and he leaned into it. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

Edward just shook his head and I could have sworn I saw a tear in his eye before he turned away and threw up out the window. I winced, and waited until he was done before putting the car in drive and heading towards the highway, back to Forks. Edward groaned lightly next to me, leaning his head against the seat, eyes closed. I reached over and took one of his hands in mine.

"I'm so sorry Bella," he mumbled. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it."

"I know, Edward, it's okay," I whispered soothingly, running my thumb along the back of his hand.

"You're so beautiful Bella," he sighed, and then heaved, whipping around to stick his head out the window again. I tried to block the sound out, so I turned the radio on, praying he would be okay soon. "You're so good to me," he added when he finished, wiping his mouth on the back of his shirt.

I smiled despite myself, knowing his words were just drunken ramblings, that they didn't mean anything. But it was nice to hear either way. "Thanks Edward. Just try and relax, okay? We're almost home."

"I was a jerk Bella, I'm so sorry," Edward repeated. "I shouldn't have gotten mad. I'm so stupid Bella."

"Shh, Edward, it's okay," I soothed. I squeezed his hand, and he pulled my fingers up to his face, pressing them against his cheek. He moved them to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on each knuckle. My whole body tingled. _He's drunk_, I reminded myself, trying not to get carried away.

Edward let out another groan, dropped my hand, and heaved out the window once more. We were almost back to his house, so I pulled out my phone and called Emmett. I knew I wasn't going to be able to get Edward inside by myself. "If this isn't important I swear to god," Emmett answered tiredly.

"Em, it's Bella," I said quickly, my voice panicky, even to my own ears.

"What's wrong?" Emmett demanded, sounding much more awake. I could hear a woman's voice in the background, presumably Rosalie's, whispering, and Emmett shushed her.

"I just picked up Edward from Port Angeles. He's shit-faced. Like, he can't even walk straight. I need help getting him inside," I explained rapidly. Emmett let out a loud stream of curses.

"I'm coming outside now," he growled.

"Thanks," I whispered, but Emmett had already hung up.

I pulled into the driveway, and Emmett was already waiting by the front door. I parked, and got out of the car, hurrying over to Edward's side. Edward was already climbing out and Emmett came over next to him, his face in a fury. Without warning, he shoved Edward into the car, his back hitting it with a loud bang. Edward groaned and I shrieked.

"You think you're tough," Emmett hissed. "Going off, getting shit-faced, worrying everyone? Get over yourself, man. I'm so sick of your shit! Just get the hell over yourself!"

He shoved him again, and lifted his fist. I screamed again and ran forward, trying to grab Emmett's arm before he could hurt Edward further. But Emmett swung forward, hard, hitting Edward in the jaw. I jumped backwards, clapping my hands over my mouth. "Be a fucking man." Emmett shoved him against the car once more and then turned and stormed off.

"Edward are you okay?" I whimpered, tears springing to my eyes. I couldn't believe Emmett could be so cruel. Edward shook his head at me and leaned away from me, throwing up all over the driveway. I looked away quickly, and was happy to see Jasper and Alice standing in the doorway. Jasper ran over and grabbed Edward once he stopped heaving.

"Let's go," Jasper said, slinging one of Edward's arms over his shoulder and starting to guide him towards the house, basically carrying him. Alice ran over to me and hugged me tightly.

"Thanks for getting him," she whispered. "I'm sorry about Emmett. He was just so worried. And he's so sick of Edward going out and doing this, worrying Esme and all of us, wondering if he's dead or alive. It's scary. Emmett just…has a bad way of handling his fear."

"Let's go inside," I said, suddenly feeling exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep, but more importantly, I wanted to make sure Edward was okay. Alice and I went inside, and I gave her a hug goodnight when she turned to her room. I went upstairs to Edward's room again, and I heard him heaving in the bathroom. Jasper was sitting on his bed, running a hand through his hair.

"Go be with Alice," I told him. "I'll take care of Edward."

"You sure?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "I'm used to it, I don't mind."

I flinched—I didn't want to hear that this was a regular thing, but everyone kept making it sound like that. How often did Edward do this sort of thing? "I'm sure, I'll take care of him."

"Alright." Jasper stood, stretched, and yawned. "Goodnight Bella. And thank you, for getting him."

"Goodnight." Jasper smiled and left, and I walked into the bathroom. Edward was lying on the floor, his face pressed against the cold tile of the floor. I stepped over him and sat on the edge of the bathtub. I reached down and pushed his hair off of his forehead.

"How do you feel?" I asked.

"Bad," he muttered.

"I can tell." He groaned and pulled himself up over the toilet again. I closed my eyes until I heard him stop. "Oh Edward. Does this happen a lot?"

He nodded, sticking his head under the sink and running cold water on his face and into his hair.

"How much?"

"All the time. Every weekend. Sometimes more," he muttered, his voice slightly gargled by the water.

"I thought you were getting better," I sighed, tears stinging at my eyes. He shut the water off, his face and hair soaked, and laid back on the floor, resting his cheek on the tiles again.

"I am," he mumbled. "It used to be almost every night."

"Oh Edward!" I gasped. "Why do you do this to yourself? Why?"

"It helps me…forget," he mumbled. He let out a low moan and leaned over the toilet, mostly dry heaving. He fell back to the floor, weak and limp. I reached forward and ran my fingers through his wet hair, pushing it away from his eyes. He stared up at me, and then without warning, he grabbed my arm and yanked me down next to him. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him.

"You're so perfect Bella," he said, and my cheeks flushed red. "I don't know how I ever got you in the first place. You're much, much too good for me."

"Don't say that Edward. You're wonderful." Edward gave me a weak half smile.

"I love you Bella," he whispered, placing a kiss on my cheek. His eyes slid shut, and within a moment he was snoring.

I was frozen in his arms. He hadn't said that to me since…we were together. And it sounded so sincere, so true. But he was drunk, obviously. He didn't mean it. He was just grateful and confused. Besides, he wouldn't remember any of it in the morning. I tried to ignore his words, to just forget them, but I couldn't get them out of my head. Not the way he said it or the way my heart fluttered and my breathing spiked at his words.

I stared down at his sleeping, peaceful face and pressed a light kiss to his forehead before cuddling back into his arms and whispered the words I hadn't said in months. "I love you too Edward."

**A/N: Wonder what will happen next? Keep your eyes out for an update, and REVIEW! Maybe I'll update faster if you do... :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: Enjoy :)**

**BPOV**

"Aw, they're so cute," Alice cooed quietly. "Take a picture Jas!"

"I'm not gonna take a picture of them when they're sleeping, Ali, that's creepy," Jasper replied just as quietly, chuckling slightly.

"But they fell asleep all cuddled on the bathroom floor! It's so cute! She stayed with him all night to make sure he was safe," Alice sighed, and the smile in her voice was obvious. I cuddled closer to the warmth next to me, trying to ignore them, but the chorus of "aw"s that came as I snuggled closer were too loud to block out.

"I can hear you, you know," I mumbled.

"We didn't mean to wake you," Alice said apologetically. I blinked my eyes opened and lifted my head off Edward's chest. He was lying on his back, his head turned towards mine, mouth slightly opened as he slept. His arms were wrapped tightly around me, and I was entangled with him.

"It's okay. But, um, I can't move. Help, please?" I asked, and Alice laughed. I didn't want to wake Edward, so I tried to slowly wriggle away. Edward frowned when he felt me moving, and his arms tightened around me, pulling me closer against his chest, nearly on top of him. I giggled along with Alice and Jasper.

"I don't wanna wake him," I whispered.

"I'll do it!" Emmett's voice was a shout when he came barreling into the bathroom. My eyes widened when I saw the pot and wooden spoon in his hands. "This is what he gets for scaring us like that last night," Emmett said in answer to my bewildered stare. I covered my ears just as he started banging the spoon against the pot.

"Wakey, wakey Edward!" Emmett screamed. Edward jumped, his eyes popping open, and his arms released me to cover his ears. I rolled off of him and landed with a thud on the bathroom floor. Alice and Jasper laughed, fingers plugging their ears as Emmett continued banging on the pot.

"Quit it, Em!" he moaned loudly.

"How'd you sleep, buddy?" Emmett asked in a voice much too loud, finally stopping the noise.

"God, I hate you," Edward mumbled, but it was clear he didn't mean it. Emmett chuckled.

"Sorry about the sucker punch yesterday," Emmett apologized. "I was pretty pissed."

"I don't even remember it, so you're forgiven," Edward said, half smiling, his eyes sliding shut again. Emmett banged on the pot three more times. "I get it, I get it! I'm up!" Edward shouted in return, sitting up. He finally looked around, taking in his bearings. He seemed surprised to see me next to him.

"Did you sleep in here?" he asked, his voice shocked.

"Yeah. I just…wanted to make sure you were okay," I said shyly. Edward's answering smile was brilliant, even through his red-rimmed and dark-circled eyes. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly, and he kept his arms around me, leaning against the cabinet under the sink and pulling me half onto his lap. I cuddled into him, not even caring that we were still broken up. I wasn't even sure how long that would last, if I was being honest.

"How bad was I?" he asked, glancing around at everyone.

"Ask Bella," Alice said, her voice filled with mischief. "She came and got you."

"You did?" Edward asked, his voice full of surprise again.

"You called," I told him, shrugging.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he apologized instantly.

"You mentioned that a few times last night," I giggled.

"Oh boy," Edward groaned, rubbing his forehead. "I hope I didn't say anything too bad."

I thought of the way he'd called me beautiful, perfect, how he'd said he loved me. The way I had answered. My cheeks turned stop sign red, and I turned away, hiding my face. I turned just in time to see Emmett, Alice and Jasper slip out of the room silently. "No, nothing too bad."

"Good," Edward sighed, seeming relieved. He groaned again. "I feel terrible."

"You were really, _really_ drunk last night," I reminded him.

"Now I'm really, _really _hung over," he mumbled and I giggled.

"What happened to your eye?" I asked. It was still bruised and puffy, and it looked painful. I lightly touched his eye and he winced. "Sorry," I apologized instantly.

"It's okay," he said, smiling kindly. "I got in a fight with James. He hit me."

"Oh no!" I gasped. I leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on his eye. Edward smiled brilliantly when I pulled away. "Why'd you guys fight?"

Edward shrugged and looked away. "I don't remember," he said quietly, but I could tell he was lying.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice firmer. He looked up and me and sighed.

"You can always see right through me," he murmured thoughtfully. "I kind of like it. But mostly it's annoying." He grinned, showing me he was teasing. I giggled and pinched his arm playfully.

"What happened?" I repeated, undeterred by his attempt to distract me. He sighed, resigned, and pulled me closer to him.

"He said some stuff."

"What stuff?" I demanded.

"He…said some stuff…about you," Edward mumbled. He was frowning, and he looked angry, just remembering it. His hands had clenched into fists. "He sort of…implied that he would like to…do stuff with you. I yelled at him, he yelled back, and we fought."

"Oh Edward," I sighed, placing my hand on his cheek lightly. "You didn't need to do that for me. I don't want you to get hurt over me."

"You're worth it," he told me, smiling softly.

"You're sweet," I retorted, and he just grinned. I cuddled my head in his chest and he placed his head on mine. I shut my eyes, breathing his scent in, and wrapping my arms around his waist, holding myself against him. As our breathing became even, in sync, I thought of what had happened last night and what was happening even now.

Was I ready to get back together with Edward? Did I want to? Was it worth it?

I had said that I loved him, but did I really mean it? I had been emotional and exhausted, and he had said it first. I knew we acted like more than friends. Friends didn't cuddle on the bathroom floor. But was I really ready for him to be my boyfriend again? Would he even want to get back together with me?

Was I ready to make this decision?

"I think I need some more sleep," Edward mumbled sleepily. "I don't want to pass out on the bathroom floor. Again." I could hear the smile in his voice. I nodded into his chest and sat up, untangling myself from him.

"Go lay down. I need to use the bathroom anyways. You kind of hogged it all night," I teased and he smiled lightly.

"Sorry." He stood up, stretching. He really did look terrible—tired and weak. "See you in a minute."

"Yup." He left, shutting the door behind him. I stood up, my body stiff from sleeping on the cold, hard floor all night. I stretched, realizing I was still in Edward's clothes, and smiled, liking the way they looked on me. Then I frowned, because I knew I shouldn't be thinking that.

I shook my head and used the bathroom before washing my hands and face. I looked under Edward's sink, searching for an extra toothbrush. I reached in and moved things around and then I found something. I pulled it out. It was an open box of condoms. I peeked towards the door. I couldn't hear anything from the other side. I quickly looked in the box and realized that three were missing.

My heart beat quickened. Had Edward…been with someone else since we broke up? I thought he had changed. I knew he had been with one or two girls before we dated but…I never thought he would move on so quickly. That he could do something so…intimate with someone else. We had only been broken up a couple of months. Had he really done this—something that he and I only did a few times, when we were sure we were in love and had been dating for a while—with someone else?

"Bella?" Edward called softly from the other room. He sounded tired, almost asleep. "Coming?"

"Yeah," I yelled back. I shoved the box back under the sink and stood, staring at my worried face in the mirror. Should I ask him? Was it really any of my business?

I was still unsure of what to do when I went back into Edward's room. He was lying on his bed, under the blankets. He smiled when he saw me. "I really like when you wear my clothes," he told me. He lifted the blankets, invited me in, to come lie with him. I wondered if he had done this same thing to some other girl, not long ago.

"Something wrong?" he asked, frowning up at me.

"Have you…been with anyone else since we broke up?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly.

"You know I haven't had a girlfriend," he answered quickly, and I could tell he was avoiding the question. I had my answer, but I wanted to hear him say it. Tears sprung to my eyes.

"That's not what I meant. Have you…slept with anyone since we broke up?" I asked, my voice slightly firmer. Edward lowered his face.

"Bella…it was a mistake. I just—it was a while ago, it was a one night thing. I was just upset and she was there," he explained.

"How could you?" I asked him, my voice cracking. I blinked, trying to stop the flow of tears that was suddenly in my eyes. "You said it was special…that it was important to you. That I was important to you."

"You were Bella. You are," Edward said. He climbed out of his bed and came over to me. He took my face in his hands and lifted it so I was looking into his eyes. "Bella she didn't mean anything to me. It was a mistake. We were both drunk, but that's not an excuse. I'm sorry."

"It's not okay," I snapped, pushing away from him. "Did you tell her it was important to you? That she was special like you said to me?"

"No, of course not, Bella, you're the only one who meant anything to me," Edward said firmly.

"I can't believe you would do this," I whimpered.

"What about you Bella? You have that Jacob kid, right? Am I supposed to believe you guys didn't sleep together?" Edward snapped, finally getting angry.

"I would _never_ have sex with Jacob. I only have sex with people I love. It's actually special to me. And I don't have Jacob. If you listened to me for five seconds last night you would have realized he came to tell me he had a girlfriend instead of running off and getting shit-faced with random kids!" I yelled back. Edward winced at my raised voice, or maybe at the information I had been yelling. Either way, he switched tactics quickly.

"Why do you even care?" Edward demanded, his voice rising angrily. "We're not dating Bella. You've made it perfectly clear you don't want me anymore. What should I matter if I had sex with another girl or fifty other girls? I have no obligation to you anymore." Edward's voice turned cold at the end.

I opened my mouth to retort, but I froze. He was right. He wasn't _my _Edward anymore. He was at liberty to sleep with whoever he wanted to. "You're right," I said coldly. "You have no obligation to me anymore. You can go have sex with whoever you want. It's not my business anymore. But excuse me if I don't want to be around someone who can tell one person that they only do it out of love and then tell another she means nothing."

I turned on my heel and stormed out, tears welling up in my eyes. I was trying to hold back sobs. I felt dirty. Were there other girls before me that he had lied to me about? How many girls had he slept with? I choked back a sob, wiping my eyes on the sleeve of Edward's sweatshirt.

"Bella?" Alice's voice was confused as I ran in the kitchen, grabbing my car keys off the counter.

"Sorry, Alice, I have to go," I whimpered. "I'll call you."

"Bella, wait, what happened?" Alice demanded, following me.

"I'll call you," I repeated, slipping my shoes on and half running out the door. I ran into my truck and shoved the keys in, taking deep breaths to calm myself enough to drive. Alice was standing in the doorway, looking confused and worried, but I just waved once, throwing my car into reverse and speeding the whole way home. I was grateful Charlie was already out fishing when I got home. I ran into the shower first, wanting to wash away the smell of him that lingered on my skin.

While the hot water was pounding down on my skin, I thought about why it bothered me so much. I broke up with Edward after all. He could get involved with someone else and it shouldn't hurt me. We were just friends, nothing more. I didn't have the right to control him or be angry at him.

But the thought of him with some other girl—it filled me with jealousy. And were we ever really just friends? Friends didn't spend the night cuddled together in bed, they didn't hold hands or dirty dance. They didn't say they loved each other. Edward and I weren't just friends and I had to admit it.

I had fallen in love with Edward Cullen. Or, more accurately, I had never stopped loving him.

Oh boy. I was _definitely_ in trouble.

**A/N: Took me a bit longer to update then I thought, but I hope you guys like this chapter. Although you probably won't since it was full of drama at the end. I should be updating soon, please REVIEW!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**A/N: So, yeah, I'm a terrible person. For those of you still patient enough to be reading, I hope you like it.**

**BPOV**

"I hate him Jake! I just hate him!" I ranted, pacing up and down his small living room. I wanted to hit something I was so angry. I had just gotten through telling Jacob everything about the night of the party, starting from the happy beginning and going all the way to the terrible morning. Jacob felt guilty about interrupting our kiss, but I knew it was for the better now. Kissing Edward would have been a huge mistake.

"I mean does he really think he can go _sleep _with some random girl and I would be okay with it?" I demanded. Jacob opened his mouth but I continued, not letting him speak. "Of course I'm not okay with it! I don't care if we weren't going out…we were clearly headed there. I mean, we were becoming friends again, and we held hands a lot, and…and…we almost kissed! How can he almost kiss me after he _slept_ with some other girl?"

"Bella—" Jacob began, but I cut him off again.

"Okay, I admit, I don't know exactly when this happened, but I'm still not happy about it. He told me I was special Jake! He said it was an important thing to him! Was he lying about that? What else was a lie?" I yelled. I was storming around the room in full on temper tantrum mode, stomping my feet, tossing my hands in the air and punctuating every point with some sort of hand gesture. "And he doesn't even think it's a big deal! Does he even know me at all? And he goes off about why I shouldn't care, but he knew what was happening! He saw that we were starting to be…whatever again! He knew!"

"Bella, I think—" Jacob started again, and I interrupted once more.

"And he didn't even call me! Not once. No calls, no texts, no contact at all!" I sniffled, trying to choke back my tears, and failing. "Why doesn't he care Jake? Why doesn't he care that he hurts me? And why do I have to care so much?" My voice broke and I burst into tears, flopping down onto the couch. Jacob sighed and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tightly against his chest, one hand stroking my hair lightly. He made soft shushing noises in my ear.

"You love him, huh?" Jacob asked.

"So, so much," I whispered, trying to blink back my tears.

"This sucks, Bells," he mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"I am too," I sighed. I pulled myself out of his arms and wiped my eyes on my sleeve. I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose into it, trying to get rid of the clogged up feeling that was making my head pound. "I'm sorry I unloaded all of this on you. I just…didn't know who else to talk to."

"I'm your best friend, Bella," Jacob said, and I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. "You can tell me anything."

"God, I feel like such a jerk," I mumbled. I wiped my eyes again and glanced in my reflection in the window. I looked like a mess.

"It's okay, Bells, honestly, I understand," Jacob soothed, giving me his friendliest smile. There was a knock on the door then, and Jacob jumped up eagerly. "That's Carlie!"

"Oh boy," I said, staring at myself in the mirror. "I look like a mental patient. She's gonna think I'm crazy."

"She'll love you because I do," Jacob told me, waving a hand casually. He opened the door then and stooped down. I saw a pair of pale arms wrap themselves around Jacob's neck, and then he stood up straight, pulling the tiny girl up with him, his arms around her waist as he kissed her. I could see her dimples as they kissed, and I knew she was smiling against his lips. I had to look away—it reminded me too much of me and Edward and I hated that.

"Bella meet Carlie," Jacob introduced, and I looked back, seeing he had put her back on her feet, but kept one of his hands wrapped around hers. Carlie was tiny—barely reaching five feet and stick thin, maybe a hundred pounds but probably a little less. She had long, curly reddish brown hair and brown eyes and a crooked smile that stretched wide across her blushing face. She was adorable, and she looked perfect next to Jacob, who was her opposite in every way—tall, muscular and tan. The only thing that matched were their lovesick smiles.

"It's nice to meet you," Carlie chirped happily. She reached out her free hand and shook mine. Her hands were tiny, even compared to mine. She reminded me a lot of Alice with her bubbly personality and tiny frame.

"You too. Jacob's told me so much about you," I informed her.

"Good things I hope," she said, glancing upwards at Jacob.

"Course not," he answered instantly, and she elbowed him playfully in the stomach. He laughed easily.

"Jerk," she teased, and he answered by pulling her hand up to his lips and kissing it softly. Carlie's fake-frown melted into her usual happy grin. She looked up at Jacob with so much love it nearly broke my heart. I could feel tears beginning to sting my eyes again.

"I have to go," I announced, and both of their heads turned towards me. "I've got homework and stuff to do before school tomorrow. It was so nice to finally meet you Carlie."

"You too Bella."

"Feel better, Bells," Jacob sighed, knowing the real reason I was leaving. He wrapped his arms around me for a quick hug and then I left, leaving him and Carlie alone together. I could tell they would enjoy the time alone—I could see them through the window, already making out, when I climbed into my car. I just shook my head in amusement and backed out of his driveway, heading back home to Forks.

When I got home, I was glad to see the house was empty. Charlie wasn't home, so I could cry in peace without worrying about him hearing me. I barely made it in the door before I was sobbing. I didn't know why I was so hurt—Edward and I had been broken up for a while—but it was bringing everything back and I honestly thought Edward and I were going to get back together after the past two weeks. Everything had been going so wonderfully.

I sat on the couch in the living room. I leaned against the counter in the kitchen. I sat in the bathroom, on my bed, on the stairs. I was restless and I couldn't stay in the house any longer. I grabbed my keys again and headed out to my truck, unsure where to go. I didn't want to go back to Jacob's and interrupt him and Carlie. I didn't want to go see Alice because I'd inevitably see Edward, and I just wasn't ready for that yet.

When my phone rang, I welcomed the distraction, and answered without checking the caller ID. "Hello?" I answered, fighting to make my voice sound normal.

"Hey Bella," Alice's voice replied, lacking its usual perkiness. I frowned.

"What's wrong, Alice?" I demanded instantly.

"You haven't seen Edward, have you?" she asked timidly.

"No I haven't. Is something wrong?"

"No, not really. He left early this morning and he hasn't been home yet but we need him back before Carlisle and Esme get home. I was hoping you'd seen him." Her voice was dejected, but not worried. I felt guilty for making him upset enough to leave, but I thought what he did was worse.

"There might be one place," I suggested. "I can go check."

"Would you, Bella?" Alice's voice brightened considerably. "You're a lifesaver!"

"I'll call you if I find him," I promised.

"Thank you so much," Alice gushed. "You're the best friend ever."

I giggled. "Love you too, Ali." We said our goodbyes and I grabbed my keys, glad for another excuse to get out of the house. It was a long shot to look for him there…but I wanted to see it anyways, and he always told me it was his place to think. I pushed my truck to its internal speed limit as I reached the highway, eventually pulling off and driving to the end of the road. I climbed out, zippering my rain coat and pulling the hood up.

I walked purposefully into the woods—it was a trip I had taken a hundred times before. Though it was off the path, I had memorized the trees that I used as landmarks, and followed the way easily. It took me a while, since it was about five miles, but eventually, cold and wet, I plodded into a perfectly circular meadow, where it was raining harder since it wasn't under the cover of trees.

Edward was lying flat on his back in the center of the circle.

"Hey," I called, sloshing over to him. He didn't look up.

"Hey," he answered listlessly. I sank down next to him, lying back so my face was being pelted with rain droplets, same as his.

"Alice was looking for you," I informed him.

"She can live without me for a day." His voice was cold.

"She wanted you home before Carlisle and Esme got home."

"I'll be back by then," he assured me. He heaved a long, low sigh. I peeked over at him and felt all my anger from the previous day melting away. He looked so sweet and innocent, his hair dripping, his eyes shining, his cheeks red from the cold. I wanted to kiss him and tell him how much I loved him, but I held back. We had a lot to talk about first.

"Who was it?" I asked, in barely a whisper.

"That girl Victoria," he sighed, already knowing what I was talking about. I winced. Victoria had been beautiful with her long red hair and perfect body, but her eyes were dark and cold, her smile more of a sneer. "James put me up to it. He told me she wanted a one night thing. He kept giving me drinks and she kept flirting with me and I just…did it."

"Why?" I whimpered.

"I don't know," he answered after a minute. "I was lonely and upset. It was the night that I thought you were with Jacob. It killed me how quickly you moved on. How easily you could forget about me, about us. I wanted to move on too. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me. Even though I knew you wouldn't care, I did it, and at the time it was almost satisfying knowing that we _both_ had someone else. But then reality set back in and I realized how awful it was not only to use Victoria like that, but to do it for such hateful reasons."

"I was never with Jacob," I confessed. "I know I made it sound like that but…I wanted to make you jealous. I wanted you to think you had no control over me anymore but really…really you were all I ever thought about."

"She was the only one Bella, I swear, and it was only that one time. I regretted it so much afterwards. I wanted to tell you but I was afraid you would…" he struggled to find the words.

"Flip out like I did?" I filled in and he smiled.

"Yeah, basically."

"It would have been better if you told me. If I hadn't found out for myself." I sighed. It still hurt thinking about him with another girl. "It really hurt. I thought _you _had moved on quickly and easily. Or that you had been lying to me when you said sex was special to you just so that you could have sex with me. I felt used and dirty."

"I never wanted you to feel that way Bella. And I never want you to feel that way again," Edward told me. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, allowing me to curl up against his chest, to breathe in his warmth. "I'm so sorry Bella. For everything. For never calling or being responsible when we went out. I loved you so much and I took for granted that you loved me too. I thought that it didn't really matter how I acted because you would forgive me, because you loved me."

"Life doesn't work that way, Edward. You can only push someone so far before they snap." I sighed and sat up, putting some space between us. I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my chin on my knees. "I don't know if I can do this Edward. Jump right back into things, go back to how we left off. Things have changed. And some things haven't that still need to. Like you're drinking and partying and skipping school. I can't be with you if you're going to be like that."

"I'll stop," he promised instantly, sitting up next to me. "I can be better, Bella, for you."

"I don't know if I'm ready for this Edward." I sighed and rubbed my eyes tiredly. "I mean look at what happened yesterday. We were fine at the party, you saw me with Jacob and we fought. Then we were fine this morning, I found out you slept with someone else and we fought. We're fighting just as much as we used to and that's always been our problem. I hate fighting with you."

"I hate fighting with you too. But you know I have a temper. And you know when you feel so much, you hurt more too, and you fight more. I don't know Bella. I want to try us again. I want to be everything you want me to be," Edward said, and his voice broke. He sighed and ran his hands through his wet, tangled hair. "I just don't want to mess things up again, but it seems like I always do."

"I don't know if we can ever be us again," I told him. I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes and I tried to hold them back. "I need to see that you can change Edward. I need to see, for real, that you can stop drinking like last night and skipping school. And you can't run away from your problems like today. Alice was worried about you and that's not fair."

"I know," he sighed, his hands clenched into fists. "I want to be good for you but I'm not. I'm not a good guy Bella. I drink and I swear and I skip. But I'll give it up for you. I'll try to be good for you."

"Can we just…see where things go?" I suggested softly. "I don't want to rush into everything again. Let's just…take it slow. It's going to be hard for me to trust you again, and if we want something to happen between us it's going to take time. We have to make sure we're ready before we do this again."

"I'll wait as long as you want me to."

"Thank you." I glanced over at him and he was watching me with intense eyes, his hair dripping. He reached forward and placed his warm hand on my cool cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into it. And then suddenly, his lips were on mine. All I could feel was the warmth of his body as he wrapped his arms around me and his soft lips on mine, his tongue reaching out to meet mine. I moaned into his mouth. I had missed this.

But then reality set back in and I pulled away. "Edward," I scolded. "I told you I didn't want to jump back to the way we were. It's going to take time."

"I know," he said grinning. "But I just really wanted to kiss you. Just in case."

And he looked so happy, so eager to please that I couldn't find it in me to be mad. So I just kissed him again, thinking the same things as him.

Just in case.

**A/N: So I am not dead. I AM going to finish this story. I'm pretty sure there will only be a few more chapters, probably only 2 or 3. To all my readers who put up with my flightiness THANK YOU SO MUCH. You are literally the most amazing people ever. Your reviews make me so happy :) The next chapter should be up soon, I hope at least. REVIEW if you don't hate me by now!**


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